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Monday Bloody Monday (4/2/00)
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There's something exhilarating about watching a stock in free-fall. Even though it represents financial ruin for millions of people, it's like seeing a traffic accident and not being able to look away. And while the markets were closed when the last big bombshell was dropped in the ongoing "Redmond Justice" saga, CNNfn reports that Microsoft's stock tumbled ten points in off-hours trading, on the news that, after over four months, settlement talks had finally completely broken down and that Microsoft would have to face Judge Jackson's verdict after all. And who knows what financial horrors Monday may bring...
In fact, whither MSFT goest, so goeth the rest of the tech stocks, to a certain extent. We can't say we'd be surprised if Microsoft's travails send the NASDAQ into a nasty little tailspin, even if just for a day or two. And even though that spells trouble for our 401K funds (which almost certainly have MSFT heavy in the mix somewhere), heck, we wouldn't be seeing that dough for decades anyway-- we're willing to hock our future well-being for the sake of a little drama. And let's be realistic, here-- MSFT's the unstoppable stock. We doubt anything the government does is really going to keep its value down for long.
So for those of you who are fearing for your tech investments, fear not; don't panic and sell on Monday when the markets go haywire, and don't go leaping out of any windows. Things will quiet down eventually, and once the dust settles, we're guessing most of the NASDAQ will be just fine. Microsoft's stock will almost certainly trade sharply lower for a while, but look on the bright side-- AAPL will probably barely feel it. Uh, you are investing in Apple more than Microsoft, right? (Note: at broadcast time, MSFT was down almost fourteen points (13%), taking most of the NASDAQ with it; even AAPL's down almost six points. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the carnage!)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 4/2/00 episode: April 2, 2000: The Apple handheld: is it leak-detecting disinformation, or just a cruel joke? Meanwhile, certain beige G3s have an affinity for smoking upgrade processors, and Microsoft's stock plummets in off-hours trading following news of the death of settlement negotiations...
Other scenes from that episode: 2197: Bigger, Heavier, More $ (4/2/00) Ladies and gentlemen, we have officially arrived at the conclusion that Apple's forthcoming handheld device is nothing more than an elaborate April Fool's joke gone way too far. After all, we've been waiting for this thing ever since Apple canned the Newton over two years ago; at that time the semi-official word was that Apple would return to the handheld market in 1999... 2198: Royal Pain In The G3 (4/2/00) So you seek the swiftness of the hare, though your Mac be a beige sloth? Step wisely, Grasshopper, for the path to speed is fraught with peril. It may sound like a bad fortune cookie, but you'd be wise to take this advice to heart: certain beige G3 Macs just aren't wired for upgrades...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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