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Same Ol' Same Ol' (4/4/00)
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It's here! It's here! After literally months of false starts and dashed hopes, Mac OS 9.0.4 is finally here! Remember back in early January, when Apple's first bug-fix update for Mac OS 9 was still going to be 9.0.1, and the buzz was that it was in "final candidate" stage? Ever since then, we've been hearing that the software was "just around the corner"-- but around every corner, all we ever found was more delays. Apparently every time Apple was about to throw the switch and post the thing, some test guy would find another "issue" to delay its release.
So when word came down that Apple finally posted this long-awaited mythical Mac OS 9.0.4 on Tuesday night, first we checked that it wasn't another mistake, and then we fired up the ol' Software Update control panel and let it do its thing. Unfortunately, "its thing" appeared to be on strike; the "checking for updates" message never went away, and after five minutes we got bored and cancelled it. Instead, we opted for a direct download of the file from Apple's web servers. Twelve and a half megabytes later, we mounted the image, ran the installer, marvelled at the fact that the update took about a minute to complete, and restarted, giddy with anticipation.
The big difference? Opening the "About This Macintosh" window reveals that the system is running 9.0.4. Other than that, well... Let's just say that at least we won't have to get used to any drastic changes. And indeed, it's not like we should have been expecting any visible differences in a mere bug-fix release. But we've all been waiting for this for so long, so we don't mind saying that this feels a little anticlimactic. You know, kinda like those "Total Disclosure" episodes of The X-Files.
In fact, it just occurs to us now that we can't for the life of us remember why we were waiting for this update in the first place. Additional USB and FireWire support? Our Mac OS 9 Macs are FireWire-challenged, and the only USB device they use is a game pad for Virtual Game Station, which already worked fine. Enhanced networking? Yeah, that sounds good-- we figure 9.0.4 patches away that nasty vulnerability to being shanghaied into a distributed denial-of-service attack-- but really, it's not like we're seeing any visible performance differences. Better power management? Now we're talking! But it'll be a while before we're in a position to see any improved battery life on our iBook, assuming the improvement is noticeable in the first place.
Improved audio, video, and graphics functionality... Oh, wait, now we remember! Hang on, let us check something out, here... Yes! The Superfriends "Wazzzzup!" QuickTime movie now plays without lip-sync problems! Cool. Well, that was worth waiting four months for, right?
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 4/4/00 episode: April 4, 2000: Apple finally releases Mac OS 9.0.4-- er, what was it supposed to do, again? Meanwhile, a "Redmond Justice" settlement is still possible, though a fast-track ticket to the Supreme Court is more likely, and a new email virus can actually make your computer explode-- are Macs vulnerable?...
Other scenes from that episode: 2204: Fast Track To Oblivion (4/4/00) Geez, everyone's always out to step on our buzz. As soon as we started doing our little happy dance about how the "Redmond Justice" conclusions of law virtually guaranteed that the show would be on the air for years to come, a plethora of articles suddenly appeared to remind us that, since the penalties have yet to be determined, a settlement is still technically possible... 2205: Duck And Cover (4/4/00) We all know that computer viruses can be harmful to one's data, but who ever figured on receiving an email message that actually detonates the computer? Yup, that's right; according to The Register, no less an authority than the Weekly World News is reporting that it's "already possible" for an unscrupulous ne'er-do-well to email you an attachment that alters the "electrical current and molecular structure" of your computer's central processing unit, "causing it to blast apart like a large hand grenade."...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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