Good gravy-- just when you thought the whole "Redmond Justice" thing couldn't possibly get any more dramatic, along comes the New York Times to inject a near-lethal dose of political intrigue into the storyline. As noted by faithful viewer Stephen White, the Times has revealed that Microsoft hired a lobbyist to spin the case to George W. Bush. Surprising? Hardly. But here's the thing, see; the lobbyist Gates is paying happens to be Ralph Reed, whose firm, Century Strategies, "is one of Mr. Bush's top consultants." In fact, Reed "frequently appeared on television" during the primary race to speak on behalf of the Bush campaign. And now it's come to light that the man has been on the Microsoft payroll for over a year, all the while presumably whispering in Dubya's ear that the whole Microsoft case is without merit, a crime against innovation, yadda yadda yadda. The plan was so simple; if Bush gets elected this fall, he makes a few calls, and bickety-bam-- "Redmond Justice" is history.

Now, lest we become mired in a plotline involving a "vast right-wing conspiracy," we're going to ignore Mr. Reed's past as the head of the Christian Coalition-- working that into the mix is too easy, it's bush league, and it's been done to death before. Instead we'd like to focus on the fact that Century Strategies reportedly organized a "detailed plan" to undermine the government's case against Microsoft by getting senior Bush supporters all across the country to "write letters to Mr. Bush saying they believe the government's case is misguided, and that the American people oppose it." Only "influential" shills were recruited, and Century's regional contractors were actually getting paid $300 for every letter they brought in. So does this go beyond Microsoft paying a trusted Bush advisor to put in a good word for the company every now and then? Oh my, yes.

For what it's worth, in a follow-up to the original story, the Times reports that Ralph Reed has apologized for his part in the lobbying of Dubya. "It is an error that we regret," says Reed, and he promises "not to lobby [Bush] again on behalf of Microsoft or anyone else." (That's what's known as the "whoops, we accidentally took a slew of money and abused our advisory position for over a year" defense, in case you're filling out the score card.) But has the damage already been done? According to AppleLinks, Dubya commented in February that "as President, the question should be innovation as opposed to litigation." Oh, great-- Dubya's chanting the "i" word. Looks like he's a Redmond pod, alright. So does this mean, as AppleLinks suggests, that a vote for Bush is a vote for Microsoft? Hey, that's between you and your ballot. But it may be worth noting that Reed has admitted to lobbying people other than Bush for Microsoft, too. And since Gore switched from his Mac to a Wintel laptop a few years back, we're wondering just how deep the conspiracy goes.

But the truly horrifying implications of all this dirty laundry coming to light may not have dawned upon you yet: to help ease the PR black eye this scandal may cause, Microsoft may subject us all to yet another besweatered Bill Gates commercial. Run! Run for your lives!!