Oh, that poor, troubled iBook. It was bad enough that all that "girly computer" nonsense marred its long-awaited debut. Then events like the LCD shortage and the Taiwanese earthquake conspired to delay availability by months. And once people were actually able to buy Apple's fruit-flavored portables, a new scandal began to brew: some iBooks displayed an alarming tendency to chow down on users' data, rendering the system unbootable and sending everything on the hard drive to the Great Bitbucket In The Sky. (This disturbing behavior was eventually linked to Apple's new "Preserve memory contents on sleep" Energy Saver option-- turn it off if you haven't already.) There was even a false alarm about hairline fractures appearing in the iBook's Ice plastics; these imperfections turned out to normal "pour lines," which are simply more visible in translucent materials.

For a portable that's only been in the public eye for a mere nine months, that's one tumultuous history. And since we do adore our own iBook so, we admit we're hesitant to heap yet more scandal on its already-full plate. Still, our first responsibility is to the safety of our viewing audience, and so we feel we must warn you about the iBook's latest, er, flaw. Apparently data isn't the only thing some iBooks like to munch on. Reports are trickling in from the field that some users have been attacked by their iBooks, which leap up and snap shut, attempting to trap the operator's head and/or face in between the LCD panel and the keyboard. We were skeptical ourselves, until we saw photographic evidence of this frightening phenomenon right on Apple's own web site. It may appear that the woman depicted is smiling, but we've been assured that what you're seeing is actually a grimace of terror as she attempts to pry her head from the jaws of the ravenous iBook. Be warned; this footage may be inappropriate for our younger and more sensitive viewers.

When last we checked, searching Apple's Tech Info Library for "iBook AND bite" still turned up zero results, but you remember how long it took them to acknowledge the "Preserve contents" bug. For now, barring an official notice from Apple, we can only recommend that iBook owners treat their systems with respect; in all reported instances of iBook bites, the iBook in question had been misused in some way. Keep spillable beverages a safe distance away, clean the screen regularly, and above all, no cracks about "girly" looks. The head you save may be your own.