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The Seat Of Power (5/30/00)
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Slowly but surely, Apple's making headway on its covert plan to take over the U.S. government. Until now, the most visible moves in Steve Jobs's master plan have been confined to the military; last year the Army moved its web site to a Mac running WebSTAR, and more recently rumors surfaced that Steve himself was involved in talks with the Navy to lift its ban on the purchase of Mac systems. These tactics are just the ones we know about, and they barely scratch the surface of Apple's long-term strategy to control every aspect of the government. But now that the military is slowly coming under Apple control, Steve's turned his attention to the real big game: the National Fish and Wildlife Service.
Faithful viewer Steve Pissocra whispered that we should take a look at a press release touting the purchase of many, many copies of FileMaker Pro by that particular wing of the government. See, while Apple's attempt to assimilate that division of the Department of the Interior has been cleverly masked as an initiative of FileMaker, Inc. (a wholly-owned subsidiary of you-know-who), it's not hard to guess at what's going on here. We may have slept through most of high school civics class, but we're pretty sure we remember the order of succession, and if the President is unable to perform her duties (or appears nude in a sleazy magazine), then the honor falls to the first runner-up the director of the National Fish and Wildlife Service. And you can bet that the 1700 copies of FileMaker Pro just purchased by that organization contain a little bit of "special" code that allows Apple to keep an eye on things in that Seat of Power.
As special operative Pissocra himself puts it, "Is there not a faster track to the Oval Office than through the Fish and Wildlife Reserve?" Well, if there is, we sure don't know about it...
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SceneLink (2324)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 5/30/00 episode: May 30, 2000: Firmware! Getcher red-hot firmware here! Meanwhile, an Apple subsidiary scores a devious coup by taking over the National Fish and Wildlife Service, and Apple has yet to jump on the "advertising on fruit" bandwagon...
Other scenes from that episode: 2323: A Matter Of Trust (5/30/00) It's time to play everyone's favorite game, Update Your Firmware! Yes, firmer than software but softer than hardware, it's firmware-- that ball of code that sits in read-only memory and makes your Mac tick, at a very guts-level level. Without working firmware, your modern-day Mac would never get so far as the disk on which you keep your operating system; it'd be little more than a dead chunk of polycarbonate... 2325: The Future Of Fruit (5/30/00) Apple's marketing has historically been a very... bipolar experience. There have been some very successful campaigns over the years (the "Think Different" commercial, the legendary "1984" ad), but there's also been a lot of absolute dreck; that disturbing Performa infomercial in which Gramps uses the family Mac to get a girlfriend limps immediately to mind...
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