Pour Us Another Cup (6/7/00)
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Is anyone else just a wee bit tired of waiting for Java to fulfill its promise? It's been what, five years now since we were first told of a glittering utopia in which developers could write their software once, and anyone could run it on any computer he or she chose. The reality, of course, has been less appealing-- particularly for Mac users, who have suffered woefully slothlike Java performance for much of the language's history. Recent builds of Apple's Mac OS Runtime for Java have helped alleviate the speed problems, but developers haven't exactly been cranking out Java apps by the truckload. Blame who you like-- Microsoft's transparent attempts to corrupt Java's "run-anywhere" potential is our favorite scapegoat-- but Java's taking longer than expected to reach that ideal of platform-independent applications.

But if you've pretty much ignored Java's influence in the past, as a Mac user it may be time to start paying some serious attention. Following last month's announcement that Mac OS X will ship with Java 2 support out-of-the-box, Uncle Steve himself made a walk-on appearance at this week's JavaOne conference at the familiar Moscone Center in San Francisco. Steve joined Sun CEO (and professional Microsoft-basher) Scott McNealy on stage to reiterate Apple's commitment to the Java architecture, and to announce a new age of cooperation between Apple and Sun regarding Java development. "We're here to say that we'll deliver the best Java environment in the world," said Steve, referring to the fact that when Mac OS X ships, it'll be the only "high-volume personal computer operating system" to include Java 2 support-- and Java applications on the Mac will inherit the full benefits of Aqua's new lickable interface.

With Microsoft busy fighting its "divestiture," we're more positive than ever before about Java's potential to change the way people write and use software. Then again, in the past our confidence in Java's success was approximately the same as our level of confidence in Cop Rock staying on the air, so that's not necessarily saying much. Still, those of you who once regarded Java as no more viable than Microsoft's antitrust defense arguments may want to keep an eye on developments over the course of the next year. There's potential there, people. Maybe.

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 6/7/00 episode:

June 7, 2000: Redmond Justice: the judge hath spoken, and his wrath is terrible. Meanwhile, Steve Jobs drops in on JavaOne to reiterate Apple's support for Sun's struggling run-anywhere programming language, and the AtAT staff finds shopping for a power supply at retail to be a baffling ordeal...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2341: Just The Beginning (6/7/00)   Wouldja believe we were so busy on Wednesday, we actually missed the season finale of "Redmond Justice"? It's true! We knew, in the back of our collective consciousness, that Judge Jackson was expected to deliver his final ruling on Wednesday at 4:30 PM EDT, yet that crucial piece of scheduling info was pushed right out of our heads by a gazillion other, far less entertaining factoids-- like how it's well-nigh impossible to get a 6.3A/250V ceramic fuse from Radio Shack without committing acts of grievous bodily harm on the sales help...

  • 2343: Hypertension Is Fun (6/7/00)   Would we, the producers of this show, ever commit such a flagrant breach of professional responsibility as to commandeer this broadcast medium as a vehicle for a personal rant? To those of you who didn't answer "hell yes" without a moment's hesitation, we'd like to extend our warmest welcome-- you're obviously new here...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
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I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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