And Here's The Analysis (6/8/00)
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Our cup runneth over-- and we're talking one of those Ultra Big Gulp cups that more closely resembles a paint bucket. We admit it; there's just far too much juicy post-ruling "Redmond Justice" material to cover on our little show, so we're going to pick just a few tidbits to share with you all, and let you folks dig through the rest on your own. After all, the search is half the fun. Okay?

Faithful viewer Mike O'Brien was the first of many to point out a very fun read over at the New York Times called "Retracing the Missteps in Microsoft's Defense at Its Antitrust Trial." As you can imagine, it's extraordinarily long. Go figure. If you had lost track of just how many intensely stupid moves Microsoft made over the course of the trial, now's your chance to get caught up. We warn you, though-- be prepared to carve out a huge chunk of time to update your error tally. Especially if you're going to include all the mistakes Microsoft made before the suit was even filed...

What post-season "Redmond Justice" wrap-up would be complete without an interview with the man of the hour? It's only a matter of time before fans can buy Judge Jackson t-shirts, but until then, you slobbering fans will have to content yourselves with the Wall Street Journal's conversation with everyone's favorite trustbuster. The focus? How Microsoft was a pack of lying weasels at just about every turn. Read how Jackson went from being opposed to a structural remedy to ruling that Microsoft be split up the middle like a cheap pair of pants.

Once you've chewed on that, make sure you're prepared for the Return of the Sweater. This is not a drill, people; according to CNET, the "sweater-clad" Bill Gates will return to the airwaves once more to fight the battle of public opinion. Just like last time, he won't refer to his company's antitrust violations directly, but he'll blather on about "the next generation of software" and how it will "help your children learn" and "make you irresistible to the opposite sex." (It's possible we're misquoting on that last bit.) So if you don't want to have to endure the nightmare spectacle of The Sweater once again croaking on about how "the best is yet to come," steer clear of network TV for the next few weeks, because we bet it'll be in heavy rotation. (Suppose they'll be able to edit out the tears streaming down Bill's face in post-production?)

Lastly, we leave you with a quickie gem by faithful viewer Matthew Guerrieri, who forwarded us this picture of Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer under the heading "Appellate Strategy": Booga-booga!

 
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 6/8/00 episode:

June 8, 2000: Apple's technical support policies take another step backward, as third-party service providers are trimmed and PowerBooks are added to the mandatory "Depot Repair" list. Meanwhile, Intel actually orders Harvard University to cover up its iMacs during an Intel-sponsored event, and there's plenty of post-season wrapup following the recent "Redmond Justice" finale-- we show you our picks for the best...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2344: Such Pretty Colors! (6/8/00)   Are there any old-timers here who remember back when Apple's service used to be one of the Mac evangelist's most formidable weapons? Oh, sure, the PC folks could talk about cheaper systems, more available software, and the hours of free entertainment derived from fiddling with IRQs and Registry entries (it's that last one that's always made us jealous), but we Mac users could always play that trump card: free lifetime technical support via toll-free calls to (800) SOS-APPL...

  • 2345: Too Cute To Cover (6/8/00)   Petty, petty, petty. You'd think that Intel would have a little more self-confidence; after all, here's a company that's broken the gigahertz barrier, shipped more chips than Pringles, and has one of the most recognizable names on the planet...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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