If you haven't been just waiting for something like this to happen, you simply haven't been paying attention. While we viewers suffer a drama drought as Microsoft and the government prepare their respective arguments for the Supreme Court, recurring "Redmond Justice" special guest star Larry Ellison has wormed his way back on the show to take up the slack. Faithful viewer Unanimous Howard was the first to point out a simply enthralling New York Times article about how Larry's company Oracle hired a detective agency to dig up dirt on Microsoft to be used as evidence during the trial.

Now, in and of itself, that might not be so compelling. But here's where things get interesting: the detective firm, Investigative Group International, is now accused of attempting various dirty tricks to get its info. Allegedly agents of the firm tried to bribe a couple of cleaning workers at the Association for Competitive Technology in order to get access to the organization's garbage. Sneaky? Sure. But ACT is supposedly an "independent advocacy group" who took out full-page ads in major newspapers supporting Microsoft during the trial; Oracle's investigation, however sketchy, revealed the group to be little more than a Microsoft-funded puppet organization established for the "express purpose of influencing public opinion" while Microsoft fought its case. So which side is sleazier?

Don't answer yet-- there's more. Oracle claims that when it enlisted the help of IGI to investigate "numerous Microsoft front organizations," it insisted that "whatever methods IGI employed must be legal." But now a member of one of those "front organizations" says that "documents that later showed up in the press were on two laptops stolen from the group last June." So on the one hand we've got the alleged establishment of fake "independent" organizations paid to dupe the public into thinking the industry supports Microsoft more than it does. On the other, we've got alleged bribery and theft. Anyone care to pick the lesser of two evils? In any case, isn't it interesting that the two men at the top of both scandals-- Bill Gates and Larry Ellison-- also just happen to be the two richest people in the world? But we're sure that's merely a coincidence...