Still got a year's supply of bottled water and canned peas in your pretty-embarrassing-as-of-last-January-1st Y2K survival stockpile? Well, check the expiration dates on those nonperishables and don't forget to pack a can opener, because you may yet have the last laugh. Most computer systems shrugged off the first of the year like the non-event it was, true, but we at AtAT are now officially recommending that all citizens immediately commence survival preparation, because Steve Jobs has allegedly taken his covert plan for world domination to the next level. With the helicopter rides between Apple and Pixar and the free "thanks for saving our bacon" Gulfstream jet, you already knew he was amassing an air force; now we've discovered that he's buyi-- er, "investing in" his own country.

That's right; according to a HolyMac! article pointed out by faithful viewer Carson Baker, a secret Apple source reveals that his company has invested a sizeable chunk of change in the Principality of Sealand, the world's smallest sovereign territory. Well, okay, that's not quite accurate; Apple's investment is actually in a company called HavenCo, which happens to reside in Sealand-- but given that Sealand consists of a derelict "World War II anti-aircraft military fortress" sitting in the North Sea just off the coast of England, we can't imagine the country consists of much more than HavenCo.

HavenCo bills itself as a "co-location facility" that's subject only to Sealand law, which is apparently pretty laissez-faire when it comes to data transactions. In other words, HavenCo is taking advantage of its unique geographical position to act as a data haven-- a place where people can "get outside of the law in order to make trusted, secure transactions. No caveats. You can set your own rules." Sounds like a growth market, right? Apple thinks so, too, and has therefore pumped something like 800,000 clams into the business, thus securing a "fair percentage" of the company. It's pretty obvious where this is all going: Apple gains a controlling interest in HavenCo; the company launches the most successful IPO in history; the Principality of Sealand becomes a major player in the increasingly virtual world marketplace; Apple controls the country's economy; Steve stages a coup; and bickety-bam, Steve's got his own country, complete with a booming economy and an air force. Soon the newly-christened Principality of Appleland will annex other small countries, the Jobsian Empire will grow, and world domination isn't far behind. So make sure you're ready.

By the way, if the concept of a data haven hosted in a tiny sovereign country sounds at all familiar to you, you've probably read Neal Stephenson's Cryptonomicon, an excellent book that explores an uncannily similar scenario. Come to think of it, when the book first came out a year ago, we remember it being near the top of Amazon's list of books purchased from customers in the apple.com domain. At the time we just figured there were lots of crypto geeks and Stephenson fans at Apple, but now it's clear that Steve made the novel required reading as the new company manifesto. Or, of course, there's the remotest of possibilities that someone's used Cryptonomicon as the inspiration for the latest Apple hoax-- but are you ready to take that chance? Excuse us, but we're off to count the canned goods in our secret underground bunker...