Here There Be Lawyers (7/17/00)
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Wow, we don't think we've seen the world this cube-crazy since Rubik unleashed his Box o' Pain on the world in the early '80s. At this point we think there's little doubt that Apple is indeed crafting some kind of cubic Mac. When the whispers started as an apocryphal piece over at Mac OS Rumors, we were skeptical; when AppleInsider chimed in with details about the CubeMac, we started to take notice; and when MacInTouch charged into the fray with its own info about this regular hexahedron full of crunchewy Mac goodness, well, that's the point at which we finally had to consider it something likely to be real.

In fact, we're especially interested now that Apple's famed lawyers-on-speed are running ninety miles an hour to suppress each and every piece of CubeMac info floating around out there in Netville. All three of the aforementioned sites have reportedly heard from Apple Legal. Mac OS Rumors pulled its articles almost immediately citing "Apple's request," and now we see little reason to doubt that's what really happened. According to faithful viewer Bryan Trigg, AppleInsider now makes direct reference to "Apple's Legal department, and their lawyers, [being] all over AppleInsider since 10am Friday morning." And as noted by faithful viewer Tony Misasi, MacInTouch was the latest to taste Steve's Legal Wrath: "Preferring for the moment to use our resources for reporting rather than a legal battle, we have removed details about Apple's upcoming 'cube Mac' and other product announcements, following Apple Legal's demands." If you've always wanted to see what a Letter of Doom from Apple's lawyers looks like, MacInTouch has posted the one it received-- complete with response.

So, would Steve have let loose the hounds of litigation if all this CubeMac info was malarkey? Of course not. Unless that's just what he wants you to think... Suppose he's devious enough to concoct a total hoax product like a CubeMac, let a few details about it leak out, and then sic the lawyers on the rumors sites just to give the hoax an air of authenticity? Remember all the hubbub over "Columbus" and its supposed role as a set-top box, when in fact it turned out to be the iMac that took us all by surprise? Look, we're not necessarily saying that this CubeMac thing is a decoy scam of epic proportions, but we won't be totally surprised if whatever appears on Wednesday is something that no one is expecting. (Though if it is the cube, we won't feel disappointed.)

 
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The above scene was taken from the 7/17/00 episode:

July 17, 2000: The whole world's gone Cube Crazy, including Apple's lawyers. Meanwhile, rumors surface that the Newton's handwriting recognition may be added to Mac OS X for use with next year's PowerBook, and on the eve of Fred Anderson's conference call, Apple's Q3 numbers are looking pretty good indeed...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2420: Dot, Dash, D'OH!! (7/17/00)   The Gay Blade's at it again, with another Naked Mole Rat Report that further cements our convictions that Mac the Knife is alive and well and squatting in a corner of the storeroom at MacEdition. Besides the inimitable voice, we also note the Rat's predilection for rumors about desktop publishing giants like Quark and Adobe-- a telltale Knife trait if ever we saw one...

  • 2421: Happy Money Day Eve (7/17/00)   Tomorrow's the big day-- no, not that big day, the other one. Sure, Steve's not stepping up to the mic until Wednesday, but tomorrow Apple's Chief Money Dude Fred Anderson gets to strut his stuff in his quarterly live conference call with the analysts of Wall Street...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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