2 Legs Good, 4 Legs Bad (7/25/00)
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Wake up and smell the Sage, people-- evil is afoot! Or if it's not actually evil, then it's at least some dark, frog-suppressing force that's up to no good. Faithful viewer Ben Cruz (and many others) wrote in to note that the new commercial for the Sage iMac has mysteriously vanished from Apple's site without a trace. You know about these new commercials, right? When Steve unveiled the iMac's new colors last week, he also gave the audience a sneak preview of four brand-spankin'-new ads that showcased each of the new hues. And not long after the keynote, QuickTime versions of those four ads (plus the new commercial for the Pro Mouse) were all available for downloading from Apple's site. Now, however, while the Indigo, Ruby, and Snow commercials are all still available, the Sage one, which featured Kermit the Frog singing "It's Not Easy Being Green," is MIA-- yanked with no explanation, as if it had never existed. Ominous, no? We should have guessed this was coming when, on the way out of the keynote, instead of playing Kermit's song over the PA, the techs piped in "Scarborough Fair." Who wants to bet that the Sage commercial will resurface with the mellow sounds of Simon and Garfunkel?

Now, at first we figured that, when it comes to songs in commercials, Apple simply has it in for the color green. Remember the "iMovie Directed By Dad" commercial? When first introduced during a Stevenote last year, the music used was that Green Day ballad you heard far too often. By the time it hit the airwaves, however, all traces of Green Day had been expunged, and Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" was used instead. So for a while we thought that the connection was simply color: Green Day and "It's Not Easy Being Green." Like, a lawyer in Apple Legal has an irrational fear of green-themed music or something.

But in light of other recent developments, we now think the removal of Kermie's song is more related to his species than his color. Is anyone else sensing a pattern, here? Yesterday we determined that Apple's legal department was discriminating against elephants, and now we find that Apple is also repressing the free speech rights of frogs. We're pretty sure Steve's not behind this speciesist agenda, seeing as he's a vegan and all-- and he even noted during last week's keynote that of all the music used in the new iMac commercials, he liked Kermit's song the best. (With Elvis and Clapton in the lineup, that's saying something.) Here's hoping he notices what's going on and puts a stop to this egregious anti-animal behavior before Apple incurs the wrath of PETA or something.


 
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The above scene was taken from the 7/25/00 episode:

July 25, 2000: The Sage commercial vanishes from Apple's web site-- is this just another step in a secret anti-animal agenda? Meanwhile, Apple and Akamai crow about pushing six terabytes of data out during last week's keynote webcast, and Steve lets slip the awful secret about what's really in those Cubes...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2438: Open The Floodgates (7/25/00)   Speaking of that keynote, while the AtAT staff continually thanks providence that we were able to witness the event live and in person, the vast majority of souls who saw it were tuned into the QuickTime webcast instead...

  • 2439: "It's Alive! ALIVE!!" (7/25/00)   Now that the Reality Distortion Field is starting to wear off a little, fewer people are trying to sell their kids on eBay to finance a new G4 Cube and more are starting to ask, "why?" As in, why on earth did Apple create the Cube?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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