It's widely believed that if you give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of typewriters and an infinite amount of coffee, eventually they'll pound out the complete script of Hamlet. It's also a proven fact that once this happens, pirated photocopies of that historic script will surface on eBay quicker than spit. Because you can find anything in existence on eBay if you look hard enough or wait long enough; true, approximately 2.7 million of its claimed "over 4 million items for sale" are either Beanie Babies or Hard Rock Cafe pins, but that other 1.3 million items includes everything you ever wanted-- or, at least, it will at some point.

Case in point: faithful viewer Austin wrote in to let us know that some people are willing to sell just about anything to make a quick buck. In particular, there are a number of Apple Pro Mouse listings on eBay right now. Apparently some people who attended the keynote went through something like this: "Wow, Steve gave me a new mouse! It's like a tacit apology for selling me that puck; I don't have to wait until September, and I don't have to shell out $59. It's a wonderful memento of this thoroughly enjoyable keynote address and the joy I shared with thousands of Mac fans as we basked in the warm glow of Steve's Reality Distortion Field. This gorgeous new optical mouse is a special gift from Steve to me, and I'll treasure it forever-- even its special commemorative 'Macworld New York 2000' box." And then, after wiping away a tear of gratitude: "I wonder how much I can get for this thing?"

But if you're amazed at what some people are willing to sell, you should be even more stunned at what other people are willing to pay. Almost all of the Macworld rodents that have found their way onto eBay are commanding prices well in excess of the $59 it would cost to buy a new one at the Apple Store. Apparently some shoppers can't bear another forty-five days with the puck, and refuse to use any input device that doesn't come from the hallowed halls of Apple itself. Either that, or they're paying extra for the commemorative box. Maybe it's just us, but paying $168.50-- that's $109.50 over list price, for the mathematically-challenged-- for a white cardboard box and the privilege of owning this mouse a few weeks earlier than most, well, it just seems a little nuts. We would have figured that anyone who could blow that much money on a mouse could have paid to attend the keynote in person. But whatever. All we know is that we're not parting with ours; stipulations to be buried with them are going into the will right now.