It's All About The Colors (8/7/00)
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Heads up-- the new Palms are here, but about the only sign of any possible influence by Apple is the presence of-- you guessed it-- new colors. Granted, that rumor that Palm might adopt the ill-fated Newton's handwriting recognition was debunked almost immediately, when the very source at PDA Geek who first voiced the speculation corrected himself by noting that the feature was actually just Palm's new recognitionless "Note Pad" application, which just lets users store freehand drawings and handwriting. Still, even with nothing more groundbreaking than a doodle application and snap-on color plates, the new $149 m100 may well give Handspring's Visor some scrappy competition. And for the "willing to pay more for the epitome of elegance and style" folks out there (Cube orderers, pay attention!), there are also now a couple of "special edition" Palm Vx models available for a limited time-- one in "Millennium Blue," and one in "Champagne." (Oh, yeah-- there's a new Palm VIIx, too, but since it doesn't come in pretty colors, it's hardly relevant.)

So: different colors. That's still the extent to which the PDA world has cribbed any of Apple's innovations. And given Uncle Steve's public comment that Apple had "been doing a lot of work with [Palm]," we can only assume that Palm's designers spent week after tortuous week in Apple's labs, studying flash cards and working with amphetamine-charged fashion consultants, drilling and quizzing around the clock, until that joyous hour arrived when they could pass the final test: identifying which swatches were grey, which were beige, and which were other colors. (Palm personnel who could further distinguish between, say, blue and yellow were immediately given bonuses and shuttled off to Palm's secret industrial design labs to get cracking.)

But now that the issue of different case colors has been tackled at long last, what other Apple-inspired innovations does the future hold for Palm? Well, as faithful viewer Michael points out, there have long been rumors that Palm is looking to switch processors. The Motorola Dragonball at the heart of every current Palm is starting to look a little droopy, performance-wise, and the industry scuttlebutt hints broadly that an ARM processor might be in the Palm's future. Don't believe it? Well, CNET says it's so-- "Palm and Acer will adopt ARM processors for future handhelds"-- and as we all know, CNET is never wrong.

Now, PDA fans who have been keeping score will have noticed the first noteworthy factor immediately: the Newton, lord rest its wacky little soul, was powered by an ARM processor. Is Palm's next processor choice Apple's influence, or just a coincidence? But even more delicious is the parallel to what's happening in the world of Mac processors. Motorola slacks on the G4; amid continuing megahertz-related marketing concerns and availability nightmares, Apple considers jumping ship to IBM's POWER4, Transmeta's Crusoe, or even an Intel chip (if Mac OS Rumors can be believed). Motorola slacks on the Dragonball; Palm thinks about switching to ARM. Wow. If this keeps up, soon Motorola's processors will only be used in coffeemakers and washing machines.

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 8/7/00 episode:

August 7, 2000: Apple wrangles a subpoena, and Yahoo! must reveal all it knows about the mysterious "worker bee." Meanwhile, ZDNet and CNET differ in their opinions of the state of Mac availability, and Palm introduces new handhelds-- do we detect Apple's fingerprints on the new colors?...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2464: How To Catch (& Swat) A Bee (8/7/00)   The drama of "Apple vs. Unknown NDA-Violating Scumwad And His Twenty-Four Lowlife Friends" continues apace; faithful viewer Julie Stephens notes an Associated Press article which reports that soon "John Doe 1" might sprout a real name...

  • 2465: Rashomon II: The Mac Story (8/7/00)   Wow, we haven't seen such a stark example of the wonders of media spin since... well, since whenever Microsoft's last statement about "Redmond Justice" hit the airwaves. Bill's minions may be the masters, but a quick glace at two headlines about the same story reveals that "objective" reporting is typically anything but...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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