Apple watchers with an overly-developed sense of corporate bloodlust were licking their chops when word of the infamous earnings warning came over the wire. So Apple would miss its quarterly estimates by up to 30% or so-- surely the red stuff should have flowed through the streets of Cupertino in the days to follow, right? But no; Uncle Steve placated the troops with word that no layoffs were planned. Instead, the company planned to get its financial house in order by taking the passive route: Steve announced a hiring freeze, and the potential trimming of "nonessential products" without reducing headcount. So much for a Roman-orgy-style bloodbath.

Okay, so there would be no pink-slip carnage as a result of the sales slump. What about punitive beheadings? Missing earnings by roughly $50 million in a quarter is more than a little "oops." We're not talking about taking up two parking spaces in the company lot, here; prompting a stock meltdown that caused the company to shed several billion dollars from its market capitalization overnight probably demands that heads should roll. Even though it's almost certainly no one person's fault, the sacrificial scapegoat has long been a (disposable) fixture in the corporate landscape. But a week passed, and still the bloodthirsty hordes were denied their thrills; Apple seemed to be back to business as usual, albeit with a severely pummeled stock price and a freshly-tattooed "beleaguered" tag across its forehead.

But wait-- what's this? Could an Apple press release signal the end of the mollycoddling? As faithful viewer Thomas McBride first told us, Apple's senior veep of worldwide sales Mitch Mandich is retiring at the end of this year. Or is that "retiring"? While it's true that Apple's stated reason for Mitch's departure is that he wants to "spend more time with his family" (one of the best reasons to leave any job), it's tough to ignore the timing factor. A week and a half after slow sales prompted the cratering of Apple's stock and a return to the heady days of fervent anti-Apple journalism, the director of sales "retires." Hmmm...

Of course, the fact that Mitch is staying on until the end of the calendar year sort of puts a damper on the whole "ousted" theory. If he were really playing the part of "scapegoat with dotted line around neck," one would expect he'd be sent packing at the speed of sound to appease the shareholders. Indeed, Apple's stock is down as we broadcast this, so Mitch's departure is hardly for Wall Street's benefit. And even if he were leaving as a direct result of the earnings warning, the quiet and gradual way in which he's departing still isn't the violent bloodbath some people were hoping for. It's more like a vigorous massage followed by a nice cup of coffee. Personally, we suspect that Mitch just doesn't feature sticking around to try to clean up this enormous mess. So, farewell, Mitch... give the kids a hug for us.