So a week or so ago, we mentioned Mike Dell's deepening spiral into Steve-obsession and madness, as evidenced by his company's apparent emulation of Apple's infamous Combustible PowerBook debacle. In 1995, there was a ruckus about PowerBook 5300 batteries potentially catching fire; Mike Dell followed suit five years later by recalling 27,000 Dell laptop batteries for exactly the same reason. (Side note: if, in your extensive travels, you should find yourself face to face with Mr. Dell himself, avoid eye contact and don't make any sudden movements. You can't be too careful around this guy.)

But now the plot thickens. Faithful viewer Reefdog unearthed more info on Dell's recent flammable battery flap, and the depths of Mike's psychosis now seem virtually limitless. According to a ZDNet article, the Dell laptop battery that ignited in the field did so due to the presence of "an 'alien' substance" that was "mixed into the production process of the battery." Even more mysterious, the battery supplier has refused to elaborate on just what that "alien" substance was, although one source has reportedly identified it as "a piece of metal." Alien metal, we'll warrant.

Take that how you will, but we're sure that reasonable viewers will read between the lines and find that Mike Dell is actually harnessing alien technology to sabotage his own company's products in an effort to emulate Apple. It's well known, of course, that the return of Steve to One Infinite Loop allowed Apple to use extraterrestrial technologies from his homeworld in the creation of all products since the original iMac. So is Reefdog right in supposing that Mike Dell has actually visited Steve's home planet and brought back alien technology that his company's engineers simply failed to harness safely?

It's certainly one possibility, but we see another. The Flammable 5300 was one of the most embarrassing and persistent images of Gil Amelio's tenure as Chief Apple Dude. Clearly Steve's master plan to replace Gil at Apple's helm started long before he even duped the poor guy into buying NeXT. Steve's operatives obviously slipped the same "alien metal" that Mike used into the PowerBook's battery production process; it was just one more prong in a calculated campaign to undermine Gil's effectiveness which eventually led to his ousting in 1997. That also explains why Mike Dell aped an Apple misstep that happened prior to Steve's return: it was still Steve's move behind the scenes. Suddenly all the pieces fall into place...