Terrorism Run Rampant (10/27/00)
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While Big, Evil Hackers are busy extracting source code from Microsoft's slipping grasp, some of their lesser brethren are cheerily heaping insult onto injury. According to The Register, someone's been screwing with the company's InterNIC entry. As of broadcast time, Microsoft's record still included such simple truths as "MICROSOFT.COM IS SECRETLY RUN BY ILLUMINATI TERRORISTS," "MICROSOFT.COM INSPIRES COPYCAT WANNABE SUBVERSIVES," AND "MICROSOFT.COM HAS NO LINUXCLUE." (Okay, so that last one is less a "simple truth" and more of a malformed conundrum, but hey, what do you want from a guy signing his work as "HACKERJACK," sonnets and villanelles?)

We mention this not as part of some half-assed "All-Microsoft Hack Day" on AtAT, but rather because it further hints at some suspicious connections between the havoc in Redmond and our hearty protagonists down Cupertino way. Our original supposition of Cap'n Steve's potential involvement with the Microsoft source code theft originated from nothing more than our own overactive imaginations. But following the vandalism of Microsoft's InterNIC record, we can't help but wonder at the significance of a similar number done on Apple's entry, which, when last we checked, still said "APPLE.COM IS THE CHOICE OF ALL SELF RESPECTING TERRORISTS."

While there's no "HACKERJACK" signature on the Apple record, we find the style unmistakably recognizable. But what does this all mean? Does it clear Apple of any involvement in Microsoft's more serious security breach-- or was this lesser hack simply engineered by Apple itself, in a bald attempt to throw the feds off the scent by casting itself as "just another victim"? Aye, those Cupertino villains are a wily bunch indeed. Sounds like Steve may be flying the ol' pirate flag again in private.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 10/27/00 episode:

October 27, 2000: Microsoft's security is breached, and the malfeasants may have gotten away with the source code to Windows-- is Steve responsible? Meanwhile, Microsoft and Apple find themselves the victims of a lesser InterNIC hack, and Green Party senate candidate Medea Benjamin "thinks different" by thinking the same...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2640: Hand In The Cookie Jar (10/27/00)   Security breach, Sector 7! The only people who are ever genuinely surprised to hear about security holes in Microsoft software are the same type of people who are shocked when they don't win the lottery. Every week. When they don't even buy tickets...

  • 2642: Hair Spray And Plagiarism (10/27/00)   Here we are, a mere week and a half away from election day-- and given the closeness of the Presidential race (Frick and Frack are neck and neck, obviously thanks to Uncle Steve's decision not to run, seeing as he'd obviously be in first place by a mile), this is the point at which desperation sets in, otherwise staid and civilized candidates get down and dirty, and the mud starts a-flyin'...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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