Titanium: Metal Of The Gods (1/12/01)
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Now that we're over the initial lust at first sight and everyone's had a few days to "ooh" and "aah" over the PowerBook G4, we thought a less visceral examination of the design's appeal might be in order. What's really got Mac fans everywhere drooling into their keyboards? Is it the thickness and weight-- or rather, the lack thereof? Far be it from us to perpetuate any unfortunate, unrealistic, and unhealthy societal standards like "thin = beautiful," but when it comes to a laptop that's going to spend a hefty chunk of time trying to pull one's shoulder closer to the ground, thin and light is undeniably attractive. Or is it the display? The widescreen factor makes it different, and different can be exciting. And let's not forget the little fact that this new PowerBook has a full-fledged G4 processor at its core; people have been clamoring for a G4-based laptop since about seven seconds after Steve unveiled the first Power Mac G4 a year and a half ago. Finally fulfilling that long-held dream of portable gigaflop performance is a fantasy come true.

That's all well and good, but we think you know the real secret of the PowerBook G4's sex appeal: its material. The thing's made out of titanium, for cryin' out Pete's sake. How cool is that? Frankly, we don't even know anything about titanium, and it's still sexy as all get out. We've all seen the photographs-- that powdery silver finish that begs to be touched. It gives people a charge, and Apple knows it: the company's pushing the sex appeal of titanium like it's the best thing to happen since, well, Bondi Blue. The company repeatedly refers to the product as the "Titanium PowerBook G4" as if that's the actual product name (which it isn't). The titanium case is explicitly called out as a notable feature by Jeff Goldblum in the commercial. And Apple devotes a sizeable portion of web space to expounding on the virtues of the metal on the PowerBook Design page; did you know that titanium is used in jewelry because it can be anodized "to produce a range of colors?" You can bet that Jonathan Ive and his team are working on the new fall PowerBook colors already. Titanium is also "the most biocompatible of all metals," which is nice; you're not likely to die twitching and convulsing from an allergic reaction when you lick your new PowerBook. (And you know you want to.)

So it's light, it's strong, and it looks simply stunning-- but titanium isn't perfect. According to a PowerBook Zone interview with the executive director of the International Titanium Association (!), one drawback is that pure titanium will "scratch easily-- yes, it will scratch easily, and then it will look like crap." That little factoid ought to give some prospective customers pause; who wants to shell out a few grand on a trophy laptop only to have its looks fade? But fear not, because surely a company as design-conscious as Apple would have taken the precaution of coating that sexy chassis in some sort of protective sealant. After all, titanium may not rust, but it does get dirty; just ask the folks in charge at the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain. According to AppleLinks, the structure's titanium exterior has become "stained and soiled," much to the chagrin of some of the locals. But we're just going to assume that Apple took care of the petty details. The bottom line is this: the PowerBook G4 is pure sex in a notebook form factor, and that titanium case has a lot to do with it. As much as we love our Pismo, it's hard not to consider trading up. Now, let's see... how much do you think we can get for a healthy human kidney?

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 1/12/01 episode:

January 12, 2001: There are plenty of reasons to lust after the PowerBook G4, but when you get right down to it, it's all about the titanium, baby. Meanwhile, by the time Mac OS 9.1 finally made it out of the gate, it lacked several of its originally-planned features, and AppleLust somehow managed to secure an exclusive interview with the guy who guards Steve's car...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2794: Overdue & Underfeatured? (1/12/01)   Are you one of those persistent never-say-die types who just keeps trying until success is achieved? Because we sure aren't. After a few half-hearted and unsuccessful attempts to download all fifteen parts of the Mac OS 9.1 update (a single-file version will be "available soon," thank heavens), we figured we'd just wait a week or two until the mad rush died down...

  • 2795: Finally: The Guard's Tale (1/12/01)   Tired of interviews with the same old heavy-hitters in the realm of Apple? By the time each Expo week winds to a close, we've had more than our fill of quotes from Adobe bigwigs, the head of Microsoft's Mac Business Unit, Phil Schiller, and yes, even Steve himself...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
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My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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