Well, all we can say is that if we were lucky enough to be in Steve Jobs's tennis shoes right now, we'd be wondering just what it takes to keep you prima donna Mac fans happy. We're talking about the grumbling coming from some PowerBook G4 owners. Here the iCEO has introduced the coolest laptop computer ever to grace the surface of your home planet, shipped it on time (to at least six of you!), and what do you do? Sure, you ooh and aah over the kickin' titanium enclosure, you marvel at the thinness of the design, your hair is blown back by the speed of the G4 that was somehow shoehorned into such a tight package, and you drool like a puppy over the super-huge widescreen display-- for about ten minutes. And then the complaints start rolling in. Ingrates!

Look, we don't care what you say; Apple's market research clearly indicated that the computer-using public at large liked to stick DVDs into a slot-loading drive, so that's what Apple included in the PowerBook G4. The respondents polled never said anything about those DVDs coming back out again. So is it Apple's fault that you lot are unhappy because you can't get your disks out of their new permanent titanium home? Why, we can only imagine the shock over at Apple headquarters as the PowerBook's chief designers consider this bizarre reaction from customers who seem obsessed with being able to get their DVDs back out their laptops. Does the marketing department know about this?

Anyway, no matter how wrong he or she may be, the customer is always right-- so Apple has agreed to help those picky PowerBook G4 owners who want a drive that both accepts and ejects media. According to the PowerBook Zone, just to keep people happy, Apple has decided to claim that the specified non-eject DVD-ROM drive shipped in several units is actually misbehaving: the official explanation is that "the DVD drive slot on the actual case can become misaligned from the actual DVD mechanism inside the machine," causing the ejection difficulty. (This, of course, is an obviously fake cover story, since with only one inch of thickness at work, there's no room for anything to become "misaligned"-- but hey, whatever makes the customer feel better.)

So, if you're one of those goobers lucky enough to own a titanium PowerBook G4 and you're conceited enough to think you know better than Apple's market research-- i.e., you think you want a DVD-ROM drive that can eject your disks-- then listen up: under the guise of repairing this fictional "misalignment issue," Apple will replace your non-eject drive with one that is capable of giving you your disks back. All you have to do is contact Apple's support people and start whining like a spoiled brat. And don't forget to throw a little tantrum when you hear that you'll have to do without your PowerBook for a few days while Apple works on it and ships it back to you. Serves you right, crybaby.