As the Apple Turns: Scene 2914: The All-Or-Nothing Mindset (3/9/01)

The All-Or-Nothing Mindset (3/9/01)

These are magical times in the world of Apple, indeed; the whole world is oohing and aahing over the svelte new PowerBook G4, Apple is reporting that high-speed G4 processors are more plentiful than expected, and a whole slew of spiffy new commercials touting the digital music capabilities of the new Macs are in heavy rotation on the tube. (Incidentally, don't miss the new longer version of the "Rip. Mix. Burn." commercial that Apple has posted to its site-- Iggy Pop has an awesome line. Many thanks to faithful viewer Stiv for filling us in.) And to top it all off, after years and years of development, Mac OS X is now a mere two weeks away from its official debut. Is it possible to stay grouchy when surrounded by such great news?

Well, yeah. Heck, the analysts do it all the time; it just takes practice. For instance, you may remember the whining back from when it was reported that Mac OS X's initial "Cheetah" release will probably lack a bunch of features like DVD capabilities, iTunes, and iMovie, right? Never mind that Mac OS X represents the Holy Grail of operating systems (the stability and modern services of UNIX and an interface even simpler than the Mac's existing time-honored GUI) and that with it, Apple may have successfully accomplished the nigh-impossible. If it can't edit digital video or rip MP3s out of the box, then the analysts consider themselves free to dub Mac OS X a drastic failure and the catalyst of Apple's imminent demise.

But wait-- CNET now reports that Mac OS X-compatible versions of iTunes and iMovie won't ship in the box, but they probably will be "available for download at intro," according to Apple marketing veep Phil Schiller. "We're trying to make that day," he says; "if not, really close." So don't fret, because we early adopters of Mac OS X will be jammin' to tunes and editing our DV footage before you know it. Given Apple's recent marketing blitz that serves up iTunes as the greatest thing since chocolate, that ought to cheer up those sourpuss analysts, right?

Bzzzzzzzzzzt, thanks for playing, but we've got some lovely parting gifts for you, including the home version of our game for you to enjoy with your family. Yes, we'll have iMovie and iTunes, but iDVD and any sort of DVD video player are both slightly further off-- which means the analysts can still predict Apple's certain doom because for a few weeks, Mac OS X users won't be able to watch Runaway Bride on their Macs. "It's inexplicable to me, Apple could fumble on these things," says Tim Deal of Technology Business Research. And Chris LeTocq of Gartner adds, "Shipping without a DVD player when the hardware is there in 80 percent of the cases is just something Apple doesn't want to do."

So there you have it, people: Apple is going down. When the first customers install Mac OS X in a couple of weeks and find they can't watch the director's cut of Encino Man, well, all hell's going to break loose. We're just glad we won't be anywhere near One Infinite Loop when the unruly mob shows up with torches and rope. Poor Steve won't even know what hit him...

SceneLink (2914)

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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

The above scene was taken from the 3/9/01 episode:

March 9, 2001: Apple introduces a second 733 MHz Power Mac G4 configuration due to-- get this-- greater-than-expected supplies of the chip from Motorola. Meanwhile, iTunes and iMovie might just make it to Mac OS X-ready status in time for the operating system's release (but the analysts are still harping on the lack of DVD compatibility), and Intel follows in Motorola's footsteps by issuing an earnings warning and cutting five thousand jobs...

Other scenes from that episode:

2913: Go On, Pull The Other One (3/9/01) It all started as a seemingly innocuous press release; faithful viewer Joe Valentino tipped us off to the fact that Apple has seen fit to add a new configuration to its Power Mac G4 line-up. Itching for a Mac packing the finest G4 Motorola has to offer?...
2915: Copycat Syndrome Epidemic (3/9/01) Okay, Dell wants to be like Apple; that we can understand. But greater-than-expected G4 production aside, why would anybody want to be like Motorola? Not that we aren't big fans of the company's processors, but let's face it: Motorola has seen better days...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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