And Then There Were Five (4/12/01)
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Is it just us, or is it getting a little cramped in here? For the first time in recent memory, Apple's Power Mac line boasts a startlingly high number of standard configurations; a quick check at the Apple Store reveals no fewer than six pre-built configs. First there's the entry-level 466 MHz model-- a nice starter Mac for people who need expandibility, though not necessarily a ton of speed. Then there are two 533 MHz models, one of which boasts two processors. Stepping up still further, the 667 MHz model was for speed freaks who didn't want to shell out the ducats for the DVD-authoring capabilities that originally came with every 733 MHz ÜberMac. And speaking of that mightiest of Macs, it's still topping out the high end, but a while back Apple added a second "special offer" 733 MHz model with a CD-RW drive instead of the SuperDrive. All told, that is one crowded product line.

But word has it that it's about to get a little breathing room, and soon. MacUser is claiming that even though it's only been available for a couple of months, Apple has unceremoniously axed the 667 MHz model. The reason given is the "short supply" of 667 MHz G4 processors, as Motorola's yields on the 733 MHz chips has allegedly been better than expected. In other words, why ship a chip at 667 MHz, when it can successfully be clocked 66 MHz higher?

However, our gut feeling is that the bigger problem was a lack of demand. When it was first announced, the Power Mac G4/667 seemed like a nice way to get a fast, modern G4 for $700 less than the only 733 MHz model. After all, if you have no need to crank out your own DVDs, why pay $700 for an extra 66 MHz of speed? But once Apple introduced the SuperDriveless 733 MHz config last month, suddenly the 667 was a whole lot less appealing. If you're going to blow $2800 on a high-end Mac, you might as well make it an even three grand and get the fastest one available. So the 667, which only became widely available in late February, suddenly became way less attractive when Apple announced the CD-RW 733 only a couple of weeks later.

Makes sense, right? And don't even get us started on the whole "667" issue; Apple missed out on a golden opportunity when it refused to label the thing as a "666" model instead. All they had to do was ship it in a jet-black case, flip the Apple logo upside-down (heck, they did it on the PowerBook for two years) and maybe color it blood-red, and voilà: you're looking at the computer of choice for the vast untapped market of cybersatanists and sullen goth teens shopping for their next parent-offending shock purchase / desperate cry for help. Apple could have hired Marilyn Manson for the commercials; heck, at this point, he'd probably work for food. We bet that the Power Mac G4/666 would have been Apple's best seller for at least a week. What a senseless waste of untapped potential...

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 4/12/01 episode:

April 12, 2001: Happy trails, Power Mac G4/667; we hardly knew ye. Meanwhile, with just six days to go before Apple posts its Q2 results, analysts are debating whether the company will manage to pull off its previously predicted "small profit," and the source of the Visuals in iTunes is confirmed-- and the mysterious subliminal image is finally explained...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2986: Q2: Straddling That Zero (4/12/01)   Red (or black) alert! There's less than a week left before Apple announces its end-of-quarter earnings, and this one's a real cliffhanger. Provided that you're a reasonably sentient being, you probably recall that Apple's Q1 results were brutally unpleasant: take a few missteps like the overpriced Cube, a botched education initiative, and a lack of CD-RW drives; mix 'em together in this tattered thing we still laughingly refer to as an economy; and out comes a quarter-billion-dollar operating loss...

  • 2987: Now That's An EASTER Egg (4/12/01)   Hey, man, have you ever looked at your Visuals? I mean, really looked at your Visuals? Sure, iTunes's hippy-trippy light show looks like it sprang directly from one of Uncle Steve's more intense acid flashbacks, but now the truth can be told: the Visuals component isn't Apple's creation at all...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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