Hey, who says the little guy can't win? We're not going to invoke that whole "David & Goliath" thing as proof, because a) people debate the tale's historical accuracy, and b) we've never fully understood how claymation about a boy and his talking dog serves as a parable about triumph despite overwhelming odds. We must be missing something. But anyway, you don't need to look any further than Redmond for evidence that sometimes a 900-pound gorilla can get pinned by a goldfish-- provided said goldfish is sufficiently ticked off. And who's better at ticking people (and goldfish) off than Microsoft?

This inspiring tale comes courtesy of faithful viewer Matthew Guerrieri, who pointed out a gem of an Associated Press story about a Florida man who successfully sued Microsoft over his "malfunctioning Microsoft Internet service." Stephen Thomas, a retired philosophy professor, reportedly signed up for MSN service sometime last year in what we can only interpret as an act of existentialist despair. Or maybe not, because he apparently expected things to work; when the software he downloaded from Microsoft last August "caused computer trouble ever since," he appears to have been surprised by that turn of events. Microsoft tech support was unable to help (we're guessing the phrase "it's working fine at this end" figured prominently) and Prof. Thomas canceled his service, but was still charged $21.95 for a month's worth of MSNy fun.

Despited his protestations, Microsoft refused to refund his twenty-two bucks, and so Stephen Thomas did what few mere mortals have the intestinal fortitude to do: he dragged Microsoft to court. For a mere $68.50, he filed a small-claims case in January, seeking to recoup his $21.95 plus "several thousand dollars in damages based on the time he spent trying to fix his computer." And while the judge rejected Thomas's claim for damages, he did order that Microsoft not only refund Thomas's twenty-two smackers, but also pay the $68.50 filing charge. Chalk up almost ninety bucks transferred from Microsoft's coffers to the Unsinkable Stephen Thomas. (Expect a sizeable ding in Microsoft's next earnings report.)

For that, the legend of Stephen Thomas will likely echo throughout the ages: fathers will inspire their sons with tales of how he defeated the Redmond Beast; evil will cower when it hears his name; religions will be started in his honor. More importantly, perhaps others will follow suit, and Microsoft will suffer a death of a thousand cuts. (Actually, at $90 a pop, it'd have to be more like the death of 4.15 billion cuts, but who's counting?) So if malfunctioning Microsoft software has you hopping mad, don't take the law into your own hands-- you take 'em to court.