(Note: The AtAT staff would like to apologize in advance for the imminent cheap shot at Phil Schiller, whom we honestly like and respect, but who nonetheless will remain the necessary casualty of a lame joke. We now return you to your regularly-scheduled program.)

Okay, so All Great Software Wears this Face-- but that was almost five years ago, and "this face" was looking a wee bit peaked. Luckily, Apple was willing to spring for a little cosmetic surgery, and the new face of Mac software is bright, shiny, and ready to do battle with the unending hordes of Windows titles for retail shelf space. Yes, Apple has revamped the Mac Logo Program, and the Picasso-style Mac face has been refreshed to better resemble its latest Aqua incarnation resting serenely at the left edge of Mac OS X's Dock. Expect to see the buffed-up visage gracing more and more software boxes in the months to come.

However, this facelift was not without a price; AtAT's shadowy yet impeccable sources tell us that a fair number of Apple employees were just a little miffed that Uncle Steve picked up the tab on ol' Picasso-Head's facial reconstruction. Apparently Apple's standard health care benefits do not include coverage for elective cosmetic surgery, and Picasso-Head's preferential treatment has certain folks in the trenches bitterly reflecting that if they ever decided to get their schnozzes taken down a few points or clefts put in their chins, they'd have to pay out of pocket. While the Apple Health & Fitness Program does reimburse employees for health club membership, it does not provide financially for the far more efficient routes to physical attractiveness of liposuction and pectoral implants. Where's the love?

At least a few less-than-physically-perfect malcontents at One Infinite Loop are steamed enough to be talking walkout. While we at AtAT hardly expect this issue to incite a full-scale strike, we're more than a little concerned about rumors that one such firebrand raising a stink about this whole issue is none other than Phil "Are You Going To Finish That Donut?" Schiller, indicating that management is peeved as well. Reports of rogue anonymous email circulating amidst the staff are also somewhat troubling; one such missive insists at length that "Apple cares more about how its products look than how its own employees do," while another more succinct example simply states "STEVE-- UPDATE MY INTERFACE." (A third reads "ALL YOUR FACE ARE BELONG TO US," but this is largely considered unrelated.)

With luck, Apple will resolve this issue before it becomes a public embarrassment (or worse, a brain drain). Even a good faith measure like free Bioré nose strips in the employee restrooms might quell the ill will. But whatever the outcome, at least that Picasso logo looks fabulous.