You've heard it before, and no doubt you'll hear it again-- probably over and over and over: Mac users are a "cult." That's the charge leveled by frazzled pundits and journalists who bash the platform and immediately suffer the searing pain of a zillion flaming email messages. It's repeated by IT departments trying to switch their graphic design teams to Windows and who are baffled at the resistance they encounter. The "cult" argument has long been a mainstay of Windows apologists because it's easier than finding real reasons why Mac users are so fiercely devoted to their computing platform of choice-- at least, that's what we used to think. Now we're not so sure.

See, in our aimless cruising around the 'net, we stumbled upon an interesting resource at the Cultic Studies Journal: a "Checklist of Cult Characteristics." The purpose, of course, is to help concerned individuals determine if they or their family members are unwittingly involved with "manipulative groups." In reading through the published cult characteristics, several of them rang alarm bells:

• The group is focused on a living leader to whom members seem to display excessively zealous, unquestioning commitment.

• The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.

• The group is preoccupied with making money.

• The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader, and members.

• The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which causes conflict with the wider society.

Uh-oh. And those are just the crystal-clear ones; others are more subtle, but still applicable. For instance, "mind-numbing techniques... are used to suppress doubts about the group and its leader" could be linked to Macworld Expo keynote addresses and iTunes visuals, while "members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group" brings to mind the whole "Demo Days" volunteer structure.

So, the bad news is that it's apparently true: we're a cult. The good news is that Apple is therefore one step closer to being a religion, which would qualify it for tax-free status, and that should make those quarterly reports even rosier. C'mon, you'd all suit up in black turtlenecks and chant to save The Mothership a few bucks, right?