By now most of you are aware that one of the most distinctive and innovative aspects of Apple's new retail stores is the Genius Bar. If you're not up to speed on this concept, here's the spiel: every single store will always have a designated "Mac Genius" (yes, that's the actual job title) on duty, whose sole purpose is to answer any Mac-related questions that customers might have. Whether it's an elderly first-time buyer who wants to know what she needs to research her family tree or a hardcore power user with a bafflingly unbootable PowerBook, the Mac Genius is there to help anyone who bellies up to the bar with a question or problem. (It took us a while to make the connection between the Genius Bar and the traditional dynamic of bartenders listening to customers pouring out their problems. We may be slow, but be usually get there eventually.)

Well, as it turns out, as faithful viewer Rover pointed out, Apple is still looking for Mac Geniuses for its stores opening in Newport Beach, Palo Alto, and Minneapolis at the Mall of America. If you're a local (or willing to relocate) and you think you've got what it takes, start brushing up on that Mac trivia and apply. Be warned, however; this isn't just another Mac tech support position. If Apple's serious about its posted job description, you'd better be ready to display some mad skillz and bleed six colo-- bleed translucen-- uh, "bleed different."

Get this-- the qualifying Mac Genius candidate "skillfully restores ailing Macs back to full health," "comfortably translates 'techno-jargon' into laymen's terms," and "genuinely enjoys helping others make the most of their Macs." That's pretty standard stuff. But in addition, he or she also "handles a Mac like Yo Yo Ma plays the cello," "would move to Timbuktu if they required all computers to be Macs," "has been able to find Cupertino, CA on a US map since the age of 12," and "would rather be in the front row of a Macworld [Expo] keynote than have free cable for a year." In other words, "competent" and "expert" aren't enough; the true Mac Genius also needs to be flat-out "fanatical."

As for us, well, yeah, we'd love to assume the role of Mac Genius at one of the three rumored Boston-area stores; Apple's posted description fits us to a T (although that "free cable" part was a close call). But working for Apple in any capacity would pretty much mean that we'd have to cease production of AtAT, and we're not quite ready to do that just yet. Be aware, however, that if you become a Mac Genius out in this neck of the woods, we're probably going to come in and visibly envy your job on a fairly regular basis. We guarantee it'll get annoying pretty quickly, but we'll try to keep the mournful sighs to a minimum.