But What A Dream It Was (6/12/01)
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It's just one of those weeks; chalk up another day in the lull. As confirmed Apple drama junkies, we're so starved for Mac-themed news, we've taken to monitoring CNN on the off-chance that maybe, just maybe, Steve Jobs flipped out and is holed up in a clock tower with a rifle and a scope; alas, no such luck (so far). In the meantime we find ourselves reduced to endless speculation about the new iMac that, Jobs willing, will debut at Macworld Expo in-- heaven help us-- thirty-six days. (Hopefully this drought won't continue for another five weeks, because we'll be dead of boredom in two.)

Granted, last week's scoop at The Register provided a short burst of excitement: the pulse of even the most jaded Mac watcher must have quickened a bit at the prospect of an iMac 2 that not only features the widely-expected LCD display, but also functions as a wireless remote-terminal "Web pad" via a stylus and a detachable screen. Of course, it was an unsubstantiated rumor, but in the absence of any real news, wild speculation and potential hoaxes are better than nothing. Heck, sometimes they're far better than news in the first place.

Unfortunately, after a bit of rational thought, most people decided that, due to the intrusion of a pesky thing called "reality," the introduction of such a system next month lacks feasibility. Between component costs for pressure-sensitive LCDs, the necessity of including both a battery and a second processor in the detachable screen unit, the cost of dark and powerful magick to overcome current wireless bandwidth limitations, etc., the alleged proposed Webpad iMac would carry a price tag of roughly $74,000. Call us crazy, but the Cube debacle notwithstanding, we just don't see Apple introducing any new iMac at a base price point much over $999.

Still, we at AtAT are usually pretty good at ignoring rational arguments in favor of the far more exciting practice of blind speculation. We managed to shrug off most of the naysaying, but when Mac OS Rumors-- a site that many would proclaim the king of blind speculation-- stated that the iMac picture and description posted at The Register "blatantly ignores a number of realities," well, that was pretty much the end of the party for us. Sure, we looked for holes in MOSR's argument (since when does the iMac's "existing enclosure" have a port door?), but eventually, we had to agree: a Webpad iMac next month is pretty much a pipe dream.

Don't despair, though; as a consolation prize, MOSR claims that next month's iMac is coming, and it does feature an LCD display. However, it's a "vertically oriented" one-piece design (Son of Twentieth Anniversary Macintosh?), and you can forget about removable-tablet functionality-- at least for now. For our part, we're finally willing to have our expectations lowered; after all, that way if Apple does somehow manage to overcome the laws of time and space by unveiling a Webpad iMac, we'll get to enjoy one of those surprises that requires you to search around on the floor for your jaw afterwards...


 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 6/12/01 episode:

June 12, 2001: The granddaddy of all rumors sites pours cold water on the "removable tablet iMac" theory. Meanwhile, Pixar employees are whooping it up in their new Steve-designed headquarters (complete with Love Lounge), and The Register's Tony Smith dons his asbestos skivvies to note that Windows XP's interface may be more revolutionary than Mac OS X's...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3110: What, A HAPPY Workplace? (6/12/01)   Whither Steve goest, so goeth AtAT-- and since nothing particularly dramatic seems to be happening at Apple these days, it's probably as good a time as any to check in over at Pixar. Steve's "other company" might basically run itself (we're told His Mercurialness spends the lion's share of his precious time on Apple), but at least one aspect of the computer animation outfit bears his distinctive brand of micromanagement: the new headquarters...

  • 3111: Don't Flame The Messenger (6/12/01)   Bored with the lack of interesting happenings in the Mac scene right this minute? Well, nothing spices up a dull party like a healthy round of heresy! The Register's Tony Smith evidently just installed a new mail server and decided to stress-test it under a worst-case scenario, because he has officially gone on record with his stated opinion that Mac OS X's Aqua interface "isn't as innovative" as the "Luna" user interface in the upcoming Windows XP-- an act which, as you all know, is tantamount to dousing one's genitals in steak sauce and then repeatedly flicking the ear of a sleeping Burmese tiger...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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