Xtrem Must Be Behind This (7/3/01)
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It's official: the G4 is stale news, old hat, yesterday's banana. Sure, we're probably going to be seeing the fastest G4s yet in two weeks' time, but everybody who's anybody in the fast-paced world of rumormongering has now moved on: the hot topic these days is the G5, baby. Don't let the cool kids catch you discussing the G4 at the water cooler, or you'll be ostracized for life-- and as Mac users, you already know just how unpleasant that can be.

Faithful viewer The M@d H@tter still has his eyed glued to Mac OS Rumors, so he tipped us off to the fact that the granddaddy of all rumors sites now has another letter, allegedly from another Apple employee privy to developments in the shadowy realm of the PowerPC. While the G4's ascension to 733 MHz earlier this year was arguably enough of a jump to get the chip architecture off the "beleaguered" list, it's the G5 that'll really put the PowerPC back in the race. Assuming the letter is legit, the G5 is already sampling at 1.5 and 1.6 GHz-- and when the chip debuts "late this year," it's supposedly going to lead off at "1.9 or 2.0 GHz with the high end at 2.5 GHz," eventually reaching speeds of "4.5-5 GHz." ("I'm sorry, could you repeat that? My brain just exploded.")

To us, those clock speeds sound way too high to be believable-- but personally, we feel that plausibility is vastly overrated these days. If you find the prospect of a 5 GHz G5 wholly beyond the realm of the possible, try not to let that distract you from the really good news in this latest missive: "Apple has taken over much of the processor design of the G4 and G5 processors, except for embedded versions, which was a cordial settlement for the G4 fiasco." To us, that'd be an even bigger dream come true than a 1.9 GHz Power Mac G5 arriving this January. Well, okay, maybe not... but it'd make the prospect of a Power Mac G5 shipping in six months a whole lot likelier, in our book.

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 7/3/01 episode:

July 3, 2001: It's official: the Cube is "suspended indefinitely." Meanwhile, Larry Ellison finally kicks Oracle into working on a Mac OS X client, and the latest rumors about the PowerPC G5 hint at an Apple-designed chip slated to hit 1.9 GHz in six months' time...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3154: Cube, We Hardly Knew Ye (7/3/01)   Fashion-forward cubic Macs with no sales pull never die, they just fade away-- or, at least, that's what we originally thought. We figured that once Macworld Expo rolled around in a couple of weeks and Steve took the wraps off a slew of shiny new toys, the Cube would simply vanish when Apple updated its web site and price lists to include the latest additions to the line-up (and to drop any and all references to Apple's biggest sales embarrassment in years)...

  • 3155: Make Way For The Suits (7/3/01)   Granted, Apple under the Second Jobs Dynasty has always viewed the enterprise market rather the way most individuals regard getting smacked upside the head with a wet piece of cheese, but we've still always been a little baffled by the foot-dragging on Oracle's part when it comes to adding Mac compatibility to its database products...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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