Shopper's Bliss Overdose (8/24/01)

Ooooo, our cup runneth over with retaily goodness. As we've mentioned before, the AtAT staff just happens to be flying to Chicago tonight on personal business, but we're going to have a little time to kill before the big event-- say, from 7AM til early afternoon tomorrow. Now, let's see... Chicago's a big, rockin' town; surely there's something that could occupy our time. The Sears Tower? The Art Institute? The Fireside Bowl? Nah... on second thought, we'll just go hang out at the mall.

The Woodfield Mall, that is, where, by an extraordinary coincidence, Apple just happens to be opening its newest retail store tomorrow at 9 AM. Call it kismet, because we swear we were already planning to fly to Chicago for the day long before the Woodfield store's grand opening date was announced. Not being ones to look a coincidence horse in the mouth, you can bet your sweet bippies that we'll be there with bells on-- or at least AtAT t-shirts, which are less annoying because they don't jingle. If you're going to be there, keep your eyes peeled for us, say hello, and get a free AtAT sticker (while supplies last). It's kind of like "Where's Waldo," only this time, if you successfully spot the right geek in the crowd, you might actually get a little something tangible for your trouble instead of that "satisfaction and sense of accomplishment" rubbish. (And no, we won't be wearing red and white striped hats.)

But wait, we're doubly blessed; not only do we get to attend our first Apple store grand opening tomorrow morning, but we also get to repeat the experience 900 miles away and closer to home just seven days later! Yes, people, several sources have come forward with "official documents" revealing that the first Boston-area Apple store will be opening at the Northshore Mall in Peabody on September 1st. (They didn't quite make Steve's "opening in August" deadline, but we doubt anyone's going to be horsewhipped for a one-day delay. Tortured with red-hot pokers, maybe, but not horsewhipped.)

If you don't want to take our word for it, well, we don't have any real evidence we can include here without stepping on some toes, but we'll bet that Apple's main retail page will move the Apple Store Northshore into the "Coming Soon" slot sometime tomorrow. And for those of you who can't wait, faithful viewers Mike and Francis McDonough both demonstrated extreme cleverness (or at least basic mammalian pattern recognition) by typing in "" just for kicks. Give it a shot, and voilà: you get a blurb, a map, and directions, unlinked from any public Apple page, but loadable to your heart's content once you're in the know. Note that this page didn't exist a couple of days ago, so it's a pretty good hint that Northshore's next in line-- and given Apple's penchant for opening these boutiques on Saturdays, September 1st is a virtual shoo-in. See you there?

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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 8/24/01 episode:

August 24, 2001: We'll see you at the Woodfield Apple store opening tomorrow-- or maybe the Northshore one next week. Meanwhile, those rumored PowerBook price drops just became official, so the channel flush is on, and "Redmond Justice" gets a new face-- with a funky new name...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3264: I Got Flowers In The Spring (8/24/01)   Seeing as it's a relatively quiet Friday, let's revisit this whole "no new hardware" controversy again for a second. First of all, the latest development is that, as we predicted yesterday, Apple has indeed ended its "Burning Desires" promotion ten days ahead of schedule; sometime yesterday afternoon, the promo page magically transformed to report an August 24th end date instead of the originally listed September 3rd...

  • 3265: Who Drew The Short Straw? (8/24/01)   And awaaaaaay we go: "Redmond Justice" enters its bajillionth chapter today with the addition of a new permanent member to the cast... but who? Following Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson's abrupt departure under a dark cloud of having engaged in such judicial no-nos as yakking to the press, a federal appeals court booted the case back to a lower court-- and a new judge, who was to be chosen by lottery sometime today...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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