So Close And Yet So Far (9/19/01)
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While there's still no official word on whether Steve Jobs will be relieving Phil Schiller of his duties at next week's Seybold keynote, the Vegas bookies are giving heavy odds on at least a tag-team appearance. After all, the only reason why Steve wasn't handling the Seybold gig in the first place was because he had a prior engagement-- namely, the keynote at the Apple Expo in Paris the very same week. Now that the Paris shindig has been nixed in the interest of safety, though, Steve is footloose and fancy-free as far as preaching to the masses is concerned.

Actually, there may be a shred of evidence that Steve is planning on showing up at the Moscone Center in person to pump the crowd so full of Reality Distortion Field energy their shoes will glow in the dark for a week; faithful viewer Mark Chally notes that on at least one web page, Seybold's site lists both Steve and Phil in Tuesday's "Special Keynote" slot-- and Steve gets top billing. Personally, we wouldn't be surprised if the schedule were like that all along, however, conveniently neglecting to mention that Steve's part was originally limited to a live-via-satellite introduction of his right-hand Phil. (For what it's worth, the official keynote page still lists Phil first, with Steve relegated only to a "live introduction via satellite" bit part.)

We don't mind telling you that we're a little concerned about Phil; after years of playing second banana and keynoting only at lesser events like QuickTime Live! and Cupertino's annual Chili Cook-Off, this was his big chance to break into the big time-- and now he faces the possibility of having it yanked away again. The ultimate disappointment, of course, would be for Steve to grab the main keynote role and only call Phil out to lend a mousing hand for the inevitable Mac vs. Wintel bake-off and maybe to jump off a platform while holding an AirPort-equipped iBook or something. Here's hoping that Phil is indeed the jovial, easygoing fella he appears to be, and not a simmering volcano of repressed rage ready to explode with the force of a thousand suns. Otherwise Steve might have been safer in Paris after all.

 
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The above scene was taken from the 9/19/01 episode:

September 19, 2001: Fight terrorism-- buy stock. Meanwhile, it's still not guaranteed, but what'll happen if Steve replaces Phil Schiller at next week's Seybold keynote?...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3309: Now At New Lower Prices (9/19/01)   Okay, everyone knows that the stock market as a whole is currently in what we like to call "a world of hurt"; truth be told, it wasn't that healthy even before the World Trade Center was attacked, and now it's pretty much just lying there and twitching...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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