Boy, it's a good thing our ill-conceived "no more making fun of Mike Dell" New Year's resolution went straight out the window, because otherwise we'd be in a bit of a bind right about now. On the one hand, we find ourselves wanting to offer a partial retraction for all that stuff we said about Dell's new Dimension 8200 being a rip-off of Apple's current Power Mac G4, enclosure-wise. Yes, it's true that Dell is touting the "midnight-gray" 8200's "bold new chassis design" that "opens like a clamshell and without tools." But after seeing how the Mac opens and how Dell's does, we find Dell's implementation so alarmingly brain-damaged, if it is an attempt to copy Apple's design, the company clearly deserves our pity, not our ire. Because Mike Dell obviously couldn't accurately copy his own kiester with a Xerox machine.

On the other hand, despite the witlessly poor execution, it's blindingly obvious that Dell is trying to play catch-up. Take, for example, the company's latest foray into the unfamiliar waters of notebook innovation: faithful viewer Ronnie Colvin pointed out a CNET article which reports that Dell is "working on a tiny new notebook with the mettle of a full-size machine." Yes, Dell is hard at work trying to squeeze a no-compromises, fully-featured system into a teensy little laptop that's "a hair over 1-inch thick," features a "12-inch display," and includes "integrated wireless networking." Sound familiar?

Evidently Mike Dell took it personally when, at the iBook's unveiling last Spring, Steve held Apple's svelte new consumer portable next to Dell's boat anchor of an also-ran. But note that Dell is finally taking a little initiative here, and is actually going for the leapfrog instead of the mere catch-up. Reportedly this amazing new "ultra-portable" system will have all the features of our buddy the iBook (with the possible exception of being able to run an operating system that doesn't suck), but will somehow beat it by about a pound and a half on weight; whereas the iBook is a 4.9-pound bundle of power, Dell's deal is supposedly a mere slip of a thing, weighing in at a Twiggyesque 3.5 pounds. (Geez, eat a sandwich!)

Note that the article implies (but does not state explicitly) that this mystery portable will include an internal optical drive of some sort, which, if true, would actually make its 3.5-pound weight pretty darn impressive. Of course, you'll pay for that portability; whereas the iBook starts at $1299 and is a consumer-targeted device, Dell's new toy is seemingly targeted more at the executive set; the base configuration is expected to cost "about $2200," so its lack of weight is less about making it easier for kids to carry and more about pampering business travelers who find that carrying a laptop heavier than four pounds ruins the line of their suits. Still, if Dell manages to pull it off (before Apple ships a three-pound PowerBook, that is), we'll give the company the credit it deserves. C'mon; we're all about fairness!