Okay, okay, we get it-- some people aren't crazy about the iPod. Interestingly enough, however, it would appear that there are only three major objections to Apple's "groundbreaking" digital audio player. The first is that, at $399, it's just way too expensive. The second, surprisingly enough, is also that it's way too expensive. Go figure. But Apple's listening, folks, and you can bet that when half the people on planet earth join together across all barriers of language, culture, and belief to state in no uncertain terms that the iPod costs too much, Steve sits up and takes notice. Indeed, faithful viewer dissimilation reports that Apple has already addressed those first two complaints by introducing the iPod LC, a lower-cost model which admittedly lacks some of the niceties of the first version, but whose $38.26 price tag ought to appeal strongly to all those Mac users who hate the idea of paying a premium for superior technology, elegance of design, and attention to detail. (Note: there's a teensy chance that the iMac LC is satire. But really, what are the odds?)

As for the third major objection, we think you all know what that is: the iPod can't drive you to the movies and frown disapprovingly at your date. How Apple could possibly have missed such a crucial bit of functionality is utterly beyond us; worse yet, our sources report that the company has no current plans to add conveyance features or artificial emotive ability to future iPod designs. Talk about not having one's finger on the pulse of the buying public! If this is true, then the iPod is indeed doomed to failure; while we're sorry for Apple's impending failure, really, the company's designers have no one to blame but themselves for making such a massive oversight.

Don't worry, though, folks; faithful viewer Jamal Kazi tipped us off to a CNN article about how Sony and Toyota have teamed up to work on their own "Pod"-- and while this one isn't quite as compact as Apple's device, those of you who are just itching for a "mood vehicle" won't be disappointed. Yes, the Sony/Toyota Pod is a car that will "smile, frown, and cry, not to mention take your pulse and measure your sweat." It lights up a "happy orange-yellow" when its owner approaches, it turns blue and cries if it runs out of gas, and it knows you're anxious if you're sweaty and tries to calm you down with "relaxing music" and "cool air." The back of this thing even features a "tail-like wagging antenna." It's like some kind of beautiful dream.

So there you have it: Apple's iPod is a $399 digital audio player, while Sony and Toyota's Pod is basically an attempt to take Herbie the Love Bug to the next level. Yes indeedy, there's something for everyone in Podville. Join us. It's bliss.