No fair, we're not ready! Kiss the human race goodbye, because the 'Pods have launched their full-scale invasion a few days early, thus catching the populace unawares and fully susceptible to possession. Whereas counter-invasion intelligence originally projected the onslaught to begin on November 10th, numerous reports indicate that the little white brain-suckers have already successfully infiltrated the retail channel-- and, heaven help us, have even insinuated themselves into some civilian homes. Oh, the humanity.

Our alarm may seem odd to those who believe the iPod to be nothing more than a spiffy-though-pricey MP3 player, but the properly paranoid know full well that nothing good ever comes of a pod invasion; after all, there has to be a reason why Apple chose that name, right? We put it to you, then, that the iPods headed our way are transforming everyone who comes into extended contact with them into mindless slaves of The Mothership. Have you noticed, for example, how strangely positive all the iPod reviews have been so far? Even PC Magazine (yes, that PC Magazine) just gave the iPod four stars and closed with the line "we hope to see a Windows-compatible version in the future." Oh, yeah, no mind-control there or anything...

So if you value your capacity for independent thought, lock the doors and tape up the windows-- and for crying out Pete's sake, stay away from Mac dealers. MacMinute is reporting that some dealers "confirm receiving limited iPod quantities in the past few days"; while they're under orders not to release them to the public until this Saturday, we wouldn't bet that one or two of those insidious little mind-robbers won't attach themselves to a couple of unsuspecting passersby just to get a head start. How else do you explain what faithful viewer Trog stumbled upon-- a weird account of a mysterious Halloween encounter with an iPod-carrying woman displaying "visible alarm" when her 'Pod was spotted ten days early?

We may be too late to sound the general alarm, however; several people, including faithful viewers tenneck and Aaron report having received notice from Apple that their 'Pods have been dispatched and are even now working their way toward their victims. And according to MacInTouch, some poor fellow named Gary Boudreaux claims that an iPod just showed up at his door: "Haven't hooked it up yet, but soon."

Soon, indeed. Run, Gary! Run!!

(By the way, folks, the best way to defeat an iPod's role in the grand scheme for world domination is to send it to us here at AtAT headquarters. We'll, uh... dispose of it for you safely.)