OW! Quick, somebody put together an up-to-the-minute online UK iPod price tracker and fast, because we're getting whiplash trying to keep up with all the changes. Hmmm, do we feel a lawsuit coming on? Someone fetch us a couple of neck braces-- maybe we can hop on the litigation train and give Apple's lawyers a nice, simple personal injury suit to relax with as a refreshing counterpoint to stock fraud class actions and racial discrimination allegations.

As we wait for www.ipodpricetracker.co.uk to go live, allow us to explain the weirdness that has us in such a tizzy. When the iPod first debuted, it cost £329 in the UK, right? But as we noted a couple of weeks ago, shortly after its introduction, its price suddenly climbed to £349. Needless to say, many Britain-bound Mac fans were none too pleased at this apparent slap in the face-- although, given Apple's semi-recent history of shafting the English, one would think they'd be somewhat used to it by now.

But the story doesn't end there; this morning reports were flying that, perhaps as a conciliatory gesture to appease the UK market, Apple had changed the price again-- this time dropping it below its original price, to £323. Sure enough, the Apple Store UK was reporting that new price this morning. Having confirmed the reports, we merrily set about writing a pleasant little scene wherein Apple saw the error of its ways and knocked the UK iPod price down to a level that, before adding England's scary 17.5% value-added tax, was darn close to the pre-tax price of an iPod here in the States. Happy endings all 'round.

Then, from out of nowhere, WHAM! Faithful viewer Stuart Ingleston blindsided us with a tip that Macworld, who had reported the price reduction earlier, was now retracting that story; apparently Apple did not cut the price of the iPod, "despite every indication to the contrary." According to Apple, £323 is the educational price of the iPod in the UK, and the price change "was mistakenly added to the non-educational part of the Apple Store." Mmm-hmm... a likely story. Down, up, down, up-- what is this, a sticker price or a Mortal Kombat fatality combo?

And meanwhile, what about our whiplash? Hey Apple, tell you what-- send us a couple of iPods and we'll forget the whole thing ever happened. But hurry, because this "neck pain" is getting worse, and our fake-moaning is getting more and more convincing with practice...