Drop the Rubik's Cube and saddle up, Junior, because it's time for another in a series of "insider updates" over at Mac OS Rumors-- and as faithful viewer zifnab informs us, this one's a royal doozy. In fact, there's a distinct possibility that it skipped right past "doozy" to land smack in the middle of "lulu" territory. To the best of our recollection, we haven't had an honest-to-goodness lulu around these parts since maybe '97 or thereabouts, so you can imagine our excitement; there's something in this report for everybody.

For those of you looking for feasible and semi-believable dirt on Apple's next pro desktops, MOSR's got you covered. Reportedly yields on G5 chips are now "commercially acceptable," Altivec performance is back to where it should be, and Apple is only waiting for a 0.8 revision of the G5 design (due "within two weeks") before signing off and plunging into production. If true, that would mean that previous reports of 1.2, 1.4, and 1.6 GHz Power Mac G5s surfacing in less than two months at Macworld Expo might still bear out. This latest intelligence also hints at the possibility of low-end G4 systems rounding out the Power Mac line-up until the G5s come down in price; to start, the cheapest G5 "will sell for slightly more than the current 867 MHz G4."

If you're more in the mood for something slightly more outrageous, you're looking at the proverbial Horn O' Plenty. Remember those reports of a couple of mutant G5s running at 2.4 GHz? Well, MOSR has just upped the ante; apparently the 2.4 GHz chip count is now up to 13, and one chip even got as high as 2.8 GHz. If that's not enough to get your salivary glands a-pumpin', there's also an offhand mention of a 900 MHz or 1 GHz flat-panel iMac bursting onto the scene in January. Still not juiced? Then consider the sheer rumorological dynamite of Apple's alleged future PowerPC plans: reportedly Steve Jobs plans to ship Macs built around the G6 running at between 5 and 10 GHz in "mid-2003" before moving on to the G7 running at clock speeds "as high as 20 GHz" in "early- to mid-2005." Fetch the defibrillator!

Are we asking you to believe a word of this? Heck, no; believe what you want. Personally, we'd classify this whole report as little more than a stunning combination of wishful thinking, high drama, and fiction at its most engaging if it weren't for one little detail: the R-rated Steve Jobs quote in which Captain Pottymouth uses the dreaded "f-word" (we're a family show, remember) twice in three sentences. Since we've heard on numerous occasions that Steve really does swear a blue streak when he isn't addressing a crowd of thousands, that gives the report just enough credibility to let us drift happily in the land of make-believe. Visions of G7s dancing in our heads... what could be nicer?