Steve Jobs Phone Home (1/17/02)
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It has recently come to our attention that, despite his predilection for bare feet and black turtlenecks, his uncanny ability to bend mere mortals to his will, and his decidedly unusual diet, some people think we're kidding when we occasionally refer to Steve Jobs as an extraterrestrial life form. Nothing could be further from the truth, people; we're dead serious about this. Seriously, do you really think that anyone from this planet would have shaped the development of the original Bondi Blue iMac? (Yes, we know the design is mainly Jonathan Ive's-- but you're not naïve enough to think that he's really from London, do you?)

Yes, for a long time we've been absolutely certain that Apple has been run by aliens for the past several years, but we've lacked any hard evidence beyond the obvious signs like those listed above... until now. It turns out that faithful viewer Stephanie G. stumbled upon incontestible proof that Apple is under extraterrestrial control when researching a simple question that plagues us all each and every day: what color is the universe? Well, it turns out that a couple of guys claim to have found the answer by crunching the data on the relative concentration of energy in different light wavelengths compiled by the 2dF Galaxy Redshift Survey, and apparently the results reveal that the universe is "between 'medium aquamarine' and 'pale turquoise'" in hue.

When you see what color the universe is, you might find the shade a tad... familiar, as Stephanie did. Oh, sure Bondi Blue was inspired by the color of the water on Bondi Beach; give us a break, folks. It was clearly based on what the universe looks like to Steve Jobs and Jon Ive (or whatever their names are in their strange alien tongue) when they see it from the outside. No wonder the original iMac resonated so deeply with the average human being-- on some subconscious, fundamental level, we all knew deep down that it was universe-colored. And really, what goes better with the drapes?

Actually, now that we look at it, the universe today looks a little more like Sage than Bondi Blue-- it's a little too green to match the original iMac. But there's a simple explanation available: "The universe started out young and blue and grew gradually greener as the population of evolved red stars built up." In other words, according to the color comparison provided, Bondi Blue is closer to the color of the universe when Steve and Jon saw it about 9 billion years ago. Wow, and you thought '80s nostalgia was pushing it...


 
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The above scene was taken from the 1/17/02 episode:

January 17, 2002: Toshiba announces new tiny drives that may give the iPod a little more muscle. Meanwhile, the color of the universe constitutes proof of Steve Jobs's alien status, and Bill Gates tells his troops that Microsoft needs to become a bastion of secure software...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3512: For The True Music Glutton (1/17/02)   Any suspicions we had that the iPod isn't a revolutionary device have long since evaporated, and here's why: this morning we couldn't decide what we wanted to hear, so we started listening to every single song in its library, in alphabetical order by artist...

  • 3514: Redmond, AKA Securityville (1/17/02)   Hey Redmond-- stop the presses, or whatever the heck it is you stop when you want all operating system development to grind to a screeching halt. According to a New York Times article sent to us by faithful viewer Sledgehammer Smythe, Big Man Bill has brought word down from the mountaintop, and that word is SECURITY...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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