As anyone who notices AtAT's occasional, er, "broadcast glitches" is surely aware, no one understands the occasionally vast gulf between intent and reality as well as your friendly neighborhood AtAT staff. Between a Viewer Mail segment that's nearly three weeks old and the total absence of a new episode yesterday (whoopsie!), we are fully aware that things often don't turn out the way we plan them. In fact, if we had to choose a single appropriate phrase to grace our tombstones when we shuffle off these mortal coils, we'd probably go with "DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL, AtAT IS INDEFINITELY DELAYED; WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE." They charge by the letter, though, so we figure we'll opt for something more like "NO DELL COMMERCIALS IN HEAVEN" instead.

But we digress. The relevance, here, is that we really don't blame Apple for the delays in getting flat-panel iMacs onto store shelves; clearly it wasn't the company's intent to coordinate the product's introduction with a Time Magazine cover story that would provide unprecedented levels of free publicity and then let all that buzz evaporate into the heartbreak of unrealized potential by not having enough gear to go around. C'mon, even Apple understands that the public's memory has a shelf life shorter than a bag full of warm ham; Jobs may work in mysterious ways, but not that mysterious. There was a ball. For whatever reason, it got dropped. It happens.

The good news, though, is that the whole iMac mess will give Steve Jobs something to yap about when he addresses his adoring throngs come Thursday at Macworld Tokyo. Apple has already been rather forthcoming in admitting that there won't be any new Macs unveiled this time around, which means that Steve may be hurting for material; an exact replay of last January's hootenanny probably wouldn't go over terribly well, since the question on showgoers' minds has presumably changed from "what will the new iMac look like?" to "when can we frickin' buy one, already?" Therefore, Steve will likely be making some tweaks to the material-- and according to Think Secret, that includes working in an explanation, of sorts, if not necessarily an apology.

Don't expect a full-blown "mea culpa," since we probably used up our allotment of those following the Great Cube Debacle. Instead, word has it that Steve will at least clear up some of the goofier rumors floating around regarding the iMac drought ("radiation problems," "firmware bugs," etc.) and offer an explanation of just what the heck those "production issues" really are. Think Secret feels that it all boils down to nothing more than a couple of scarce parts: the SuperDrive and "power transistors used in the LCD display." Not to criticize, or anything, but we feel that rationale lacks a certain sense of drama. Steve, if you're watching, you might want to consider playing up the radiation angle, instead-- we think it might be more of a crowd pleaser, especially considering the longstanding Godzilla franchise that resonates with your Tokyo audience. Heck, we know that we would sure find it a lot more exciting.

Anyway, whatever the problem is or was, according to Think Secret, Steve will most likely tell us that iMac availability will "improve dramatically in the next few weeks" and then announce some sort of unspecified promotion intended to rekindle the iMac fever that has cooled due to Empty Shelf Syndrome. Our own sources reveal that Steve will then engage in a fight to the death with a heavily-armed mechanical version of himself, to the undisguised delight of the fans. Too bad there won't be a webcast, hmmmm?