Just a quickie to round out today's utter lack of material: we were all set to start fabricating rumors about a jetlagged and buck-naked Steve Jobs running amuck in downtown Tokyo and spraying random pedestrians with Hai Karate when faithful viewer Lisa Boucher came to our rescue. Lisa was apparently flipping through a catalog that arrived with the day's allotment of junk mail (you remember that stuff; it's like spam, only it comes in physical paper form and usually doesn't offer you access to the world's largest collection of pictures of naked celebrities-- or if yours does, we're clearly on all the wrong mailing lists) when she noticed an iMacalike product we'd somehow never encountered before. Friends, Romans, countrymen, we give you... the Instant Cabana.

Yes, it's basically a giant taco-shaped classic Blueberry iMac that you can climb inside-- albeit one with a number of improvements over Apple's original model. Forget about "out of the box and onto the Internet in less than ten minutes"-- this sucker "assembles in just three seconds." (Step three? Heck, this thing doesn't even have a step two.) Furthermore, it weighs just five pounds-- that's only about as much as a twelve-inch iBook. And as far as we know, in its entire product history, no iteration of the iMac has ever provided "UV protection for three people" or offered "a private changing room." Best of all, it's a fraction of even the cheapest iMac's price: just $99.95, though you'll have to pay for an oversized shipment.

Granted, there are a few drawbacks to choosing an Instant Cabana over an iMac; as far as we can make out, the iCabana has significantly less RAM and disk space (0 MB; 0 GB), a much slower processor speed (0 MHz), and appears to lack both USB and FireWire ports, making it staggeringly unsuitable for use as a Digital Hub. On the other hand, the iMac boasts neither a tear-resistant floor nor over twenty-eight square feet of shade. So if you're in the market for a blue and white lumpy-looking thing, your choice is really going to depend on whether you're planning to surf the 'net and manage your digital media or change clothes on a public beach. Choose wisely; nothing's worse than getting arrested for public indecency because your iMac didn't offer sufficient coverage while you were changing into your swimsuit. (Trust us on this one.)