Wauwatosa, Here We Come (8/23/02)
SceneLink
 

This is just going to be a quickie episode, folks, because the AtAT staff is currently gearing up for BabyTour 2002, and we leave for the first leg (to the hopefully presciently-named town of "Happy Jack, AZ," if we're reading this itinerary correctly) in just about five hours from now. Since we're pessimistic enough not to expect to find 'net access roaring like the Mighty Mississippi up there, we're expecting to be pretty much incommunicado-- we mean, even more so than usual, if that's even possible-- until we wind our way down to Urbana, IL next week. And by then we may well have been rendered completely incapable of stringing together a comprehensible English sentence-- again, even more so than usual-- due to lack of oxygen, prolonged exposure to family members, and the X-Factor of heavy travel with a four-month-old sack of cute. So we figured we'd get this in just under the wire, in case we don't make it back in one piece. Or however many pieces we're setting out with. You know what we mean.

Good lord, the unintelligibility has started already. This does not bode well.

Anyway, those of you who are Apple Retail junkies have no doubt already noticed that at some point over the last few days, Apple updated its "Coming Soon" listings to confirm the long-rumored grand opening date of August 31st for the Twelve Oaks and Mayfair stores, located respectively in scenic Novi, MI and historic Wauwatosa, WI-- the latter of which, as we've mentioned previously, just happens to be the birthplace of some truly towering and magnificent individuals, such as AtAT's own resident fact-checker and Goddess of Minutiae, Katie. And some other really important and historic figures, too, we're sure, but obviously they pale in comparison.

So we've got a little news: since we've long had it on fairly good authority that the Mayfair Mall was to be blessed with an Apple store on August 31st, we took a chance and made Wauwatosa the final stop on BabyTour 2002. What that means to you folks is that barring some really unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances (like us not feeling like dragging our jetlagged kiesters out of bed that morning), the entire AtAT staff-- meaning Jack, Katie, and even Anya-- are currently planning to make an appearance at the Mayfair grand opening. Odds are the roller coaster ride that is infant care will preclude the possibility of us showing up hours in advance and camping out in line like the true freaks we are, but if any of you Cheeseheads can struggle on down to the Wauwatosa store any time before, say, noonish, you'll have a reasonably good chance of spotting the bedraggled slackers responsible for cranking out this little show (or neglecting to, as the case may be). If you say hi, gush appropriately about their ridiculously godlike talents, and don't yell at them too much for the recent lack of broadcasts, you might even be able to shake them down for a free sticker. Ooooo.

If you're planning to go, here's a recent mug shot of two of the three perpetrators, taken in a similar environment. (For easy identification, the big goofy looking one will probably be wearing an AtAT t-shirt, providing he doesn't ruin it while fighting off vicious bears in the wilds of Montana.) And no, folks, we're not making a Michigan stop, too. Not to short-change Novi, which we're sure is a splendid town and all, but traveling 360-odd miles to catch two grand openings on the same day is not exactly something we're itching to list on our résumés. Darn this lack of initiative.

 
SceneLink (3747)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors
 

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 8/23/02 episode:

August 23, 2002: Apple plans to open two new retail stores on August 31st-- and the AtAT staff plans to be at one of them. Meanwhile, the bigwigs behind Macworld Expo are talking about moving the summer gig back to Boston, and a report from Taiwan has 15-inch LCD iMac production ceasing completely in two months' time...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3748: 2004: Beantown-Bound (8/23/02)   Speaking of travel, have we mentioned that we mostly just find the whole shebang to be one royal pain in the nether regions? "Broadens the mind; expands the horizons"-- yeah, right, whatever. All we know is that even leaving aside the newly-added complication of toting a baby along, getting from Point A to Point B frequently involves lack of legroom, long waits in depressing fluorescently-lit environments, "food" that only qualifies as such in the same way that ketchup qualifies as a vegetable, and various and sundry other indignities we could just as soon live without...

  • 3749: You People Need To SPEND (8/23/02)   Look out, folks; rumors of changes to Apple's production plans are once more surfacing from Taiwan. We've seen this plenty of times in the past, since Taiwan is where Apple contracts out the actual building of most of its gear, and thus there are plenty of opportunities for people in the know to drop a tasty hint now and again to the local press...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1287 votes)
Apple store at Amazon

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2024 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).