Speaking of earth-shattering surprises about Macworld Expo, you're really going to want to brace yourselves for this one. Are you sitting down? Have you jammed your wallet into your mouth to keep from swallowing your tongue in case this mind-bending news triggers a grand mal seizure? Is your estate in order, just in case the worst comes to pass? Then you may just possibly be ready to learn that the Expo organizers have officially announced the keynote speaker for this January's festivities, and it's to be none other than-- are you ready for this?-- Steve Jobs. ("We lost the pulse-- charge the paddles to 200... Clear!!")

Now, assuming you're still conscious after that massive shock, we'd just like to take a moment and acknowledge that it's perfectly natural to have been blindsided by such an unexpected announcement. After all, we and the rest of the Mac-using world just naturally assumed that January's keynote duties would fall to either Minnesota Secretary of State Mary Kiffmeyer or the new non-Orlando Jones 7 UP guy. To think that the Mac throngs will instead be addressed by Apple's cofounder and once and present CEO, well... let's just say that we never saw it coming.

Still, there's a certain subtle logic to the choice, if you think about it for a little while. As it turns out, Macs are actually made by Apple, so there's a tenuous thematic relevancy right there. On top of that, it seems that Steve Jobs has apparently delivered every single domestic Macworld Expo keynote for the past five years, so perhaps it's not totally out of left field that he'll be doing the one in January as well. Still, it's probably going to take us the whole three months leading up to the keynote to get used to the idea.

By the way, sources report that Jobs was tapped for the gig because the 7 UP guy is scheduled to be taking off his pants in a Mall in Ohio that day (whether this is a professional or a personal appearance is not known at this time), while Mary Kiffmeyer has a manicure appointment that it would be really rude to reschedule. Here's hoping that Jobs has enough Reality Distortion Field energy to win over a crowd of Kiffmeyer fans and 7 UP drinkers-- otherwise things might get really ugly come that fateful Tuesday morning...