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Finally, Some Recognition (10/10/02)
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Lastly, we've got a quickie from last week, which at first glance is so seemingly unimportant that you might surmise we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, here. Not so, friends; for your information, we don't keep this stuff in a barrel. We are, in actuality, licking the insides of the mustard jar. There's all the difference in the world, so nyaaaah.
But, surprisingly enough, we digress. What we meant to point out was that Apple's SoHo retail store recently won the coveted "Best Staircase" award for 2002 from the Village Voice. As you probably know, the Village Voice Best Staircase award is an elevatory honor second in eminence only to the prestigious Golden Escalator prize of Switzerland, which is so amazingly highly regarded, it hasn't actually been awarded since 1957 due to the last recipient's head spontaneously combusting with superconcentrated glory. (These height-altering structure and/or conveyance awards are taken extremely seriously, you know.)
At an exclusive awards banquet attended only by the true A-List of the Society of Stairs, Elevators, Escalators, and Fire Poles, the Voice lauded Apple's prizewinning structure as being "an architectural beauty made entirely out of glass, frosted on the footing to thwart potential peeping Toms." Truer words were never spoken. Our sources report that Steve Jobs attended the no-press-allowed white-tie affair and accepted the award on behalf of all the people who made that staircase possible. When his voice caught as he expressed his heartfelt thanks to all of the stairologists who put in so many late nights and therefore missed out on family time and syndicated Frasier reruns, there wasn't a dry eye in the house.
This latest "Best Staircase" award joins a slew of other recent triumphs by Apple retail stores, including "Best Hardwood Floor" of Phoenix; "Best Novelty Children's Sitting Devices" of Cincinnati; "Best In-Mall Public Restrooms" of Greater Chicagoland; and "Best Borderline-Illegal Store Signage" of Germantown, Tennessee. Kudos to all of Apple's designers on a job well done. But the real question is, will the upcoming Apple Store Somerset somehow manage to beat out the Novi store to win "Best Shiny Red Phone" in the greater Detroit area? Only time will tell...
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SceneLink (3773)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 10/10/02 episode: October 10, 2002: Word has it that Apple employees aren't supposed to use iCal for company scheduling purposes. Meanwhile, Microsoft considers charging for the fruits of its "trustworthy computing" initiative, and the Apple Store SoHo wins the "Best Staircase" award of 2002...
Other scenes from that episode: 3771: Consternation. Uproar. (10/10/02) Attention: if you live in the general vicinity of Cupertino and you've got a little free time on your hands, would you mind perhaps donning a rainbow wig, wandering over to Apple headquarters, staking out Steve's car in the parking lot (you can't miss it-- it's the flashy number with no license plates parked across three handicapped spaces and on top of the torso of an elderly woman), and when he shows up to drive home, offering him a stick of Juicy Fruit?... 3772: Tech Protection Racket (10/10/02) Hey, what slow news day would be complete without a little gratuitous Microsoft-bashing? Well, around here, the answer is no slow news day, and we'll tell you why: not a day goes by in this dimension of existence that word of some bonehead blunder, security flaw, illegal behavior, or other drama-laden episode or circumstance doesn't issue forth from Redmond, Washington: Tree City USA and Endless Fount of Microsoftian Comic Relief...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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