In happier (though far less entertaining) news, faithful viewer newwavedave tipped us off to the fact that Apple is seeking to make the lives of this nation's schoolteachers just a little bit brighter. Sure, they may have to try to convince legions of attention-deficient kids that English words traditionally don't have numerals in them, and that algebra is important to learn if they ever want to figure out how much to tip their dealers. Some teachers may need to do it while dodging spitballs, switchblades, and armor-piercing bullets. The ones with quick enough reflexes to make it through Friday then get to figure out how to survive on a weekly paycheck with fewer digits than Bruno the Klutz after his brief stint as a professional carrot-chopper. (Think about that one for a sec-- it's worth it.) But hey, at least now they can all get free copies of Mac OS X 10.2.

That's right, folks; Apple has just launched a "X for Teachers" program, which aims to provide "qualifying" K-12 teachers with free copies of Jaguar. But wait, that's not all! If you order now, Apple will throw in a free "Getting Started with Mac OS X" Training CD chock full of educationy goodness, 90 days of phone support, and a manual-- which, if what came with our own retail copy of 10.2 is any indication, is probably a piece of paper with "THIS IS A MANUAL" printed on it in big block letters, but heck, it's all good. Because it's all FREE. Even shipping, as faithful viewer FrozenTundra noted-- no $19.95 "shipping and handling" charge here.

Of course, that "qualifying" teachers condition may contain a few snags. First of all, this deal is strictly K-12 only, so you college professors, massage therapy instructors, and folks that help people Learn To Drive The Big Rigs are going to have to shell out the dough like the rest of us poor shmucks. Secondly, like so many of Apple's special deals, this offer is U.S.-only, which means that youse foreigners are left out in the cold. (Serves you right for being born elsewhere. What on earth were you thinking?) That restriction actually bothers us quite a bit, because it means that Mr. Archie "Snake" Simpson of Degrassi Community School can't get a free copy of Jaguar. Where's the love, people? The man was a founding member of The Zit Remedy, for Pete's sake... toss the man a bone, already.

Other than that, though, it's pretty straightforward; fill out an application, wait a couple of weeks, and your kit should show up in your school's mailbox. And it's totally cool with Apple if you want to install your free copy of 10.2 on your home Mac instead of at school. So that's the scoop: if you're a K-12 teacher in the U.S.A., Jaguar awaits. And if you already bought a copy for yourself, maybe you can sell your free one and put the proceeds toward a stun gun or something.