So yet another minor drawback we've discovered about producing AtAT at completely absurd hours of the day-- hours that we formerly considered to be fictional, such as "five o'clock in the morning"-- is this: things that, when viewed by daylight and processed by a well-rested mind, would normally just be mildly disturbing take on a depth of horror so profound we find ourselves paralyzed by a cold and cosmic Lovecraftian dread that chills our very souls to the fragile foundations of our sanity. (On the other hand, we get to have near-real-time email conversations with faithful AtAT viewers in places with ridiculously inconvenient time zones, like Australia and the Netherlands, so it's a wash. G'day, Chris Menz! Goedendag, Gerben Wierda!)

But oh yeah, back to the horror. Funny we should mention the Netherlands, because that's where this latest bone-chilling development originated. You are, of course, aware of the lovely and talented Ms. Feiss, arguably the most famous of Apple's "Switchers," and certainly the most influential? Well, now you can look at a whole slew of Dutch people dressing up like her. We know that it's madness to stare, yet we cannot look away.

The twenty-eight photos are presented as an alleged "Ellen/Alan Feiss Look-a-Like Contest" thrown by a Dutch site called MacFreak, but considering that Samuel L. Jackson suffering from a severe allergic reaction to shellfish would look more like Ellen than two-thirds of these "contestants" do, we're not buying that for a second.

We see instead hard evidence that pockets of real, scary, honest-to-goodness Ellen cultists are amassing all over the globe, adopting the garb of their spiritual leader and biding their time until the day when Her Feissness gives the word to attack. On that fateful day, legions of green-shirted, grey-hooded, red-eyed fanatics will swarm the streets, striking down all who might dare to oppose the fated supremacy and blinding destiny of The Inarticulate One. And thus will begin the Feiss Dynasty, with one world united under the rule of She Who Beeps.

Of course, there's just one thing standing in the way of that whole scenario: Steve Jobs is also walking the path of his foretold destiny as the single ruler of the planet. We sense that we are hurtling toward an inevitable epic battle between The Mercurial One and The Mistress of Bummer, and the titan left standing will rule atop a pile of broken bodies taller than the tallest mountain.

Then again, that's not the scary part. This is the scary part. You know, we almost welcome this apocalypse...