Still Extending Its Reach (11/26/02)

Speaking of Switch ads, how come former-Windoid-turned-Machead David Coursey hasn't done one yet? After all, when he gave the Mac a shot earlier this year, he began a rapid transformation from one of those dime-a-dozen anti-Mac tech columnists into a guy who now practically gushes over All Things Apple. He's even writing a book on switching from Windows to the Mac. And faithful viewer davethedivine noted that the man's latest article over at ZDNet AnchorDesk is a self-admitted "blatant attempt to get you into an Apple Store and convince you to maybe even buy something while you're there."

Lack of a Switch ad notwithstanding, if Coursey actually manages to persuade anyone to go check out an Apple retail store, the good news is that now said people will have a decent chance of actually being able to find one. We lost count a good while back, but Apple sure didn't; according to a press release, this past weekend's two grand openings (in Denver and Emeryville) brings the total of Apple retail outlets to fifty. The big 5-0. That's significant for several reasons, not the least of which is that it means Apple actually hit its goal of having fifty stores up and running in time for the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. It's always nice to see a company stick to a schedule.

There's also the fact that, with fifty carefully-chosen stores now under its belt, Apple now has retail locations within a fifteen-mile drive of a whopping 85 million people. That means that in the U.S., one out of every three Americans now lives less than fifteen miles from a big glowing Apple logo-- and considering that some conspiracy theorists attribute sudden, inexplicable platform switching like that of David Coursey to the of massive doses of Reality Distortion Field energy being pumped out of the giant illuminated store signs marking the entrance of each store, they're probably predicting a sudden unexplained increase in domestic Apple market share to roughly 30% within the next year or so. Of course, most of these same guys have also been putting waaaaaay too much nutmeg in their eggnog, but that's beside the point.

Regardless, the growth continues, and those fifty stores are soon to number fifty-one; Apple is planning a rare non-Saturday grand opening for the Apple Store Oakbrook this Friday, to coincide with its post-Thanksgiving orgy of retail delight. Mac fans of the Greater Chicago Area, prepare to welcome yet another new store amid "free stocking-stuffers, special values, and a chance to win a new 15-inch iMac." What better way to work off the Turkey Coma than by exercising your credit limit? And if anybody happens to see David Coursey stumbling around at said event with a glazed look on his face, well, you won't be particularly surprised, right?

SceneLink (3863)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors

Mash-ups and original music by AtAT's former Intern and Goddess-in-Training

Prim M at YouTube


The above scene was taken from the 11/26/02 episode:

November 26, 2002: Apple posts two new Switch ads-- both starring Santa Claus. Now that's a celebrity! Meanwhile, David Coursey shamelessly shills for the Mac as Apple prepares to open its 51st retail store, and the CEO of Quark may have gotten a little goofy at an industry gathering last week...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3862: Ho, Ho, Ho... Har, Har, Har (11/26/02)   Strap on those novelty reindeer antlers and pour yourself a tall glass of Silk Nog, because the holiday season is officially upon us. How do we know? No, it's got nothing to do with the number of days until Thanksgiving or the first instance of white and fluffy precipitation accumulating on the garden gnomes; this year we know that the holidays are upon us because, as faithful viewer el jacko first pointed out, Apple has posted two new Switch ads featuring Will Ferrell as "S. Claus"...

  • 3864: Nurse, More Spin Control! (11/26/02)   Ahhh, that trusty ol' Naked Mole Rat: always good for a heaping helping of Quark dirt. For days, now, we'd been hearing various intriguing but maddeningly vague mutterings among folks in the publishing industry to the effect that something somewhat disturbing was up with the makers of QuarkXPress-- and especially with the biggest of the bigwigs at the Denver-based firm-- but no one seemed to want to tell us exactly what was giving everyone the willies...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(878 votes)

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2023 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).