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110% Undeniably Real & True (5/6/03)
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So here's the thing; we're so completely out of the loop after our extended absence that there's absolutely no way we can possibly judge any Apple-related rumors based on known fact. As it turns out, though, that's actually sort of a blessing, since it affords us a luxury we haven't been able to experience in years: blind faith. And that's precisely how we're going to try to tackle the rumors that IBM's long-awaited PowerPC 970 is only a month or two away from shipping in a series of pro Macs whose performance makes the current G4s look like epitomes of sloth-- extremely stylish epitomes of sloth, but epitomes of sloth nonetheless.
Yup, blind faith. None of this point-by-point debunking of outrageous claims as in the case of the XtremMac or the iWalk, no cautious optimism based on a calculated weighing of known factors-- just guts-level belief. How hard can it be, right? Faithful viewer j tipped us off to the latest on this rumor over at MacBidouille; not only are the new 970-based Power Macs due as early as next month, but prerelease units are also kicking out benchmarks that'll singe your eyebrows off if you sit too close.
Get this: in a series of tests involving Photoshop, Bryce, and Cinema 4D, a single 1.4 GHz PPC 970 Mac beat out a dual-processor 1.4 GHz G4 system, as well as a 3 GHz Pentium 4-- and a dual 1.8 GHz 970 just about smacked the paint off of everything else. When these things ship, the single-processor 1.4 GHz model will be the new low-end system, meaning the Mac platform should finally have some serious horsepower to bring to the party. So, Mac fans, rejoice! As the English translation of MacBidouille's article states, "the fight is over and Apple will soon rule the world!" We're taking that as the literal truth, people! Apple will actually reign supreme over all nations!
Assuming, of course, you're willing to accept that no one in the industry has seen hide nor hair of these systems except, miraculously enough, this one French site-- and they somehow managed to get a hold of one in March running a prerelease version of Panther that didn't exist at the time and then sat down and compiled a series of benchmarks while dodging machine gun fire from the Apple wetworks task force assigned to guard it from anyone who's ever do much as heard of a Mac rumors site. But that's perfectly... um... reasonable...
Man, blind faith is hard. How do people do this?
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 5/6/03 episode: May 6, 2003: Apple's stock jumps on the news that the iTunes Music Store sold a million songs in its first week. Meanwhile, alleged benchmarks surface for the new alleged PowerPC 970-based Macs allegedly slated for an alleged June or July unveiling, and Apple fixes a bug that allowed nasty people to take control of others' Apple IDs and buy all the gear they wanted...
Other scenes from that episode: 3931: Lotsa Tunes, Lotsa Pods (5/6/03) Apple's music news just keeps on getting better; now they've issued a press release reporting that the iTunes Music Store has officially sold over one million songs in its first week. Furthermore, "over half" of the tracks in the iTMS's entire 200,000-song catalog were downloaded at least once, and more than 50% of the songs sold were purchased as full albums... 3933: With Apple, Fraud's Easy Too (5/6/03) Longtime viewers of this trashy little soap are well aware that we're perfectly happy to wander off-topic to engage in a little gleeful and petty gloating about the security flaw du jour afflicting all those poor saps running software slapped together by Microsoft...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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