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"Aloha" Means "Buy This" (5/16/03)
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Mele Kalikimaka, everybody! (That means "fish food"!) Say, faithful viewer Darcy asked us to remind you all that tomorrow is a Momentous Occasion™: May 17th will forever go down in history as the Day That The Apple Store Ala Moana Opened. We understand that Hallmark is working on a line of "Happy Day That The Apple Store Ala Moana Opened" greeting cards; some of them feature Garfield, while others depict Steve Jobs in a grass skirt and coconut bra.
Why is this such a grand affair? Because since the Apple Store Ala Moana is in Honolulu, Hawaii, this marks Apple's first retail store on foreign soil. Oh, that Steve and his wacky surprises! The last we'd heard from Apple was that it was going to wait until the U.S. retail stores turned a profit before it would even consider expanding the project overseas. But, of course, just when we'd swallowed that story hook, line, and sinker, His Steveness pulls one of his trademark rabbits out of his hat and gives us the first international Apple retail store in Hawaii. Things are never dull with Steve at the helm, nosirree!
What do you mean, Hawaii isn't another country? Pull the other one. They only use, like, thirteen letters of the alphabet or something.
It's a state? When the heck did that happen?
1959? You're sure?
Huh. Well, whatever; it's still a big event, since it's the first Apple store in the, um, state of Hawaii. It's at least a more notable occurrence than Apple's other scheduled grand opening tomorrow-- the Apple Store Arden Fair-- which turns out to be the eleventh store in the state of California. Nothing against Sacramento, of course, whose denizens will no doubt be thrilled to have their own local slice of Mac retail heaven, but to the rest of us, yet another new Apple store opening in California ranks right up there on the Momentous Occasion™ list with "Trash Pickup Thursday" and "I Just Put Gas in My Car." (On the plus side, if you're a fan of drinking games, playing "chug whenever Apple opens a retail store in the states of California or New York" will get you smashed even quicker than the Buffy drinking game when FX hosts a marathon.)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 5/16/03 episode: May 16, 2003: Apple prepares to open its first retail store in Hawaii-- and its eleventh in California. Meanwhile, Microsoft releases MSN for Mac OS X (for some reason), and an eagle-eyed faithful viewer spots a Happy Mac made entirely out of Legos on eBay...
Other scenes from that episode: 3956: Why, Who Could Resist? (5/16/03) And in the "Who Were The Ad Wizards Who Came Up With THIS One?" department, faithful viewer Michael McKinney informs us that Microsoft has just unleashed MSN for Mac OS X. Yes, folks, if you prefer the Mac to Windows but you've still got a hankerin' to tether yourself to Redmond's warmed-over clone of AOL, life just doesn't get any better than this... 3957: Plus, It's Fully Stackable (5/16/03) It's Fluff Friday here at AtAT! Let's face it: the last thing you want to do is leave the work week with weighty thoughts and complex emotions crashing around in your head. So what better way to kick off the weekend than with a quick little angst-free nugget of pure consumer opportunity?...
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