Okay, we're sure most of you probably consider Apple's choice in online content delivery partners about as interesting as white bread on toast, but if you want to get your U.S. Recommended Daily Allowance of drama every day, sometimes you have to dig a little. What, exactly, is up with Apple hooking up with Speedera on occasion instead of Akamai? Something's rotten in the state of Denmark, and it ain't the baloney sandwich you dropped behind the fridge last week. (Although, you know, you really should clean that up.)

For the uninitiated, Akamai was one of the first services that allowed businesses to speed up downloads for their customers by replicating data onto redundant servers located all over the world, so that requests for data automatically get routed to a server close by. Some of you may remember that Apple partnered with Akamai back in '99 to improve the delivery of QuickTime TV, and Apple must have been impressed with the results, because a month later Steve and company invested $12.5 million in Akamai for a five percent stake. Thanks to Akamai's subsequent IPO prior to the dotcom collapse, that $12.5 million grew by an order of magnitude in a year, and Apple continued to use Akamai to speed its downloads.

But now Think Secret is reporting that at least some downloads from Apple are actually originating from Speedera, Akamai's bitter competitor. How bitter? Well, apparently Akamai sued Speedera for trade secret infringement, and Speedera sued right back, alleging "unfair competition, false advertising, and trade libel." Yeeks. So how, exactly, should Akamai interpret Apple's apparent deal with Speedera to provide its services to a company that used to be strictly Akamai territory? We can't help but wonder whether things aren't a little tense.

Speedera is reportedly slightly cheaper than Akamai in certain scenarios; suppose Apple enlisting Speedera was simply a cost-savings move during trying economic times? Maybe. But we just can't shake the feeling that there's more to it than that; after all, wouldn't Akamai cut Apple a good deal? No, we're wondering if there isn't a little spite behind Apple's decision, seeing as its investment in Akamai has long since plunged into the toilet-- Apple even took a $6 million charge at the end of last year to write down its pummeled Akamai shares.

Of course, only Steve knows for sure. MMMMWWAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! Oh, and probably Fred Anderson. And maybe some of Fred's people, too. Actually, come to think of it, it's probably not that big a secret after all. But hey, it's still pretty juicy, huh? Huh?

Okay, you're right, it really isn't. How about this, then-- the whole Speedera thing started when Steve caught Akamai's CEO giving his wife a foot rub. There. All fixed.