Hoo, mama-- the mad scramble to glom onto the success of the iTunes Music Store continues unabated. Recently we noted that Roxio just announced plans to resurrect Napster as a "legitimate" online music business next year; now Microsoft and RealNetworks are getting into the act as well. Suddenly we're steeped in the depths of a digital music free-for-all; there's a party in my ear and everyone's invited!

On the Redmond side, CNET reported last week that "Microsoft is quietly preparing for a counterattack by improving its own technology for supporting subscription music services." Sigh. What is it about Microsoft that it's so hell-bent on renting out music instead of selling it? Did the colossal failure of the pay-to-watch-even-after-you-buy-it bastardization of the DVD known as Divx teach them nothing? The iTMS is doing well so far because people can give it a spin without shelling out ten bucks every month until they die; you can buy one song for a buck, and then that song is yours, and you're done. What, does Bill Gates hang out in Blockbuster all day, watching the patrons and drooling into a cup over what he imagines is the attainment of Business Model Nirvana?

We couldn't say. But what we do know is that Microsoft is working on a way to incorporate subscription-based digital rights management into portable music players, so that you can take your rented music with you instead of being tethered to your Wintel PC. Once this comes to pass, if you subscribe to PressPlay, MusicNow, TenBucksAMonthForLife, WeGoUnderAndYouLoseAllYourMusic, or any of the other subscription-based services, you'll finally be able to load your downloaded tracks onto a compatible music player and rock out on the go. Of course, if your subscription happens to lapse right in the middle of listening to "Disco Duck" on the subway, well, so be it.

And now lookee here: according to WIRED, Rhapsody, yet another of the subscription-based music services that was already clogging the pipe, was bought out by RealNetworks last month and has just mysteriously decided to lower its price on burnable downloads from 99 cents to 79 cents. Hmmm... do we smell a price war in the offing? Well, uh, probably not, actually, seeing as how Rhapsody doesn't work on Macs and iTunes isn't out for Windows (yet). But even if you did have a choice between the two services right now, don't forget, that 79 cents at Rhapsody isn't much of a bargain when you lump in the $9.95 monthly subscription fee you have to pay for the privilege of buying your 79-cent song. Still, kudos to Rhapsody for finding a way to get its name out there alongside the iTMS buzz.

What amuses us to no end about this situation is the way that none of these people will admit that this recent flurry of activity has anything whatsoever to do with the iTunes Music Store and its early success. Roxio "doesn't even consider it a competitor." Microsoft brushes off the iTunes Music Store as irrelevant because Apple "is not looking at or supporting" subscription-based services. And Listen.com/Rhapsody insists that its sudden move to lower its price for burnable downloads to 79 cents was "not a response to Apple's iTunes music service." Just nod understandingly, folks, and back away slowly...