As the Apple Turns: Scene 3988: 2 Updates For Mopey Moes (6/3/03)

2 Updates For Mopey Moes (6/3/03)

We know what you've been thinking: that your life is empty. Meaningless. Utterly devoid of purpose. We are each of us alone in an uncaring, unfeeling universe in which there is no rhyme or reason, no supreme force of moral guidance, no cosmic fount of unconditional love. Life contains no patterns save those that we ourselves impose on it-- and in the end those patterns, too, mean nothing. We may as well all kill each other in an act of equal parts ennui and despair, for to live in a universe without meaning is to live not at all.

What? You were actually just wondering when iSync 1.1 would finally be released? Sorry, we misread you slightly, but it's an honest mistake; studies have shown that oppressive feelings of existential angst are biochemically indistinguishable from uncertainty about minor Apple software updates. (Turns out that half the pale, unkempt people dressed all in black and shuffling aimlessly from coffeehouse to coffeehouse aren't suicidal, they're just waiting for the next iCal bugfix release.) Well, good news on the iSync front, at least: Apple's issued a press release announcing version 1.1's immediate availability. Download, install, go nuts.

So what does 1.1 bring, you ask? Mostly support for more phones, including a few non-Bluetooth ones. And if you've got a .Mac account, you'll be able to sync your Safari bookmarks between systems, as well as your Address Book and iCal data. We must say, the bookmark-syncing feature would have taken us completely by surprise-- if not for the fact that every other time we tried to bookmark something over the past several weeks we've had to click away an erroneous error (ah, what poetry) informing us that iSync was currently updating our bookmarks. Kinda ruined the "ooooh, aaaah" effect. Still, this looks like a release with a few nifty new features (a person's Address Book photo appearing on a supported phone's screen when he or she calls, for example), and at the very least now people will stop mistaking you for a beatnik with a death wish.

But wait, there's more! If you're totally indifferent to iSync but eat, sleep, drink, and breathe QuickTime (ewwww, that can't be good for you), you'll be pleased to know that Apple has also announced the immediate availability of QuickTime 6.3, which brings support for the 3GPP standard. Okay, everyone, all together, now: "WHAT IS THE 3GPP STANDARD, AND HOW DOES IT AFFECT ME?" Well, 3GPP support will apparently allow the delivery of QuickTime content on supported mobile phones, thus paving the way for a Golden Age of Phone Porn. Really, who wouldn't be excited? (If the prospect of mobile phone video doesn't spin your propeller, QuickTime 6.3 also improves DV video and audio synchronization; better supports Keynote, iMovie, and iDVD; and allegedly provides a "more reliable streaming experience." Gol-ly.)

So to recap, yeah, apparently it's Mobile Phone Day on the Apple software updates calendar. Geez, we completely forgot to send them a card, too. Still, the delivery of a couple of new software updates at least has us secure in the knowledge that all's right with the universe.

SceneLink (3988)

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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

The above scene was taken from the 6/3/03 episode:

June 3, 2003: Apple announces iSync 1.1 and QuickTime 6.3, and there was much rejoicing. Meanwhile, Apple design guru Jonathan Ive wins a boatload of cash as Designer of the Year, and Microsoft states that it will no longer develop standalone versions of Internet Explorer...

Other scenes from that episode:

3989: Ducats For Dandy Design (6/3/03) Remember when we referred to the latest of Apple's sixty trillion design awards, due largely to the endeavors of design guru Jonathan "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Tasteful" Ive? Well, it's been minutes since Apple won that thing, so clearly it's time for another one-- except this one's just a teensy bit different: it's not for Apple, but actually for Mr. Ive himself...
3990: "Uh, Redmond WHAT Now?" (6/3/03) Okay, so this is a little late, and possibly more than a little off-topic, but we just can't let this one go without comment: faithful viewer Mike D reminded us that CNET recently discussed Microsoft's stated plan of "phasing out standalone versions of its Internet Explorer web browser" and instead developing it further only "as part of the OS."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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