The Apple Retail Machine just keeps chug-chug-chugging along, and while stores continue to open with an almost alarming regularity (especially in an economy recently classified by Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan as a "reason to consider the many subtle benefits of assisted suicide"), most of the magic has long since dissipated from the big freakin' party known as the Grand Opening. Oh, sure, each store's opening is special in its own little way; the recent launch of the mondo enormo Chicago store produced a healthy level of spectacle with its own rock concert, and even the little rinky-dink theaterless Apple stores like our own local Chestnut Hill location pull in a fair number of loyal fans a few hours early for a pre-opening lineup that lends the day a nice sense of occasion. But gone are the days of rabid Mac fans hitchhiking for three weeks across two continents and subsisting on nothing but roadkill and adrenaline just for the honor of lining up ridiculously early for the latest Apple retail store's big debut.

Or so we thought. Tonight's 6 PM grand opening of the Apple Store Third Street Promenade (deep in the dusty badlands of Santa Monica, California) already has a little extra going for it, what with scheduled in-store acoustic performances by Less Than Jake and The Rising-- but what really grabbed our attention was the story of Hal Bergman, who brings an old-school recipe of recklessness, enthusiasm, and-- most importantly-- total disregard for the law to the Third Street opening by camping out on the street a full twenty-four hours before the store is slated to throw open its doors. And lest you think he's just confused and thinks he's waiting for Episode III tickets, Hal is actually documenting his twenty-four hours on the streets in semi-real time via periodic updates to Electronic Mayhem, thanks to a Pismo and the store's open AirPort network.

Yes, folks, it's a gritty story of life on the streets-- albeit life on the streets with lawn chairs, junk food, plenty o' portable Macs, and a home to return to when the whole goofy story is over. Swoon at the ingenuity as Hal and his friend Josh learn they can plug their laptops into the outlets for the decorative lights on the trees! Thrill to their getting hassled by The Man for violating curfew, stealing power, and (gasp!) sitting in lawn chairs! Marvel at the depths of sleep deprivation as Hal attempts to operate a motor vehicle to go buy more snacks! There's even a little unintentional social commentary as Hal notes the plight of the homeless with whom he's sharing the streets, albeit temporarily. Trust us, this story has everything. Dibs on the movie rights!

Kudos to Hal and Josh for putting some of the original spark back in the institution of the Apple retail store grand opening. These days we certainly wouldn't have expected nearly this much drama from what we believe is Apple's 61st such event, especially since Third Street is (somehow) also Apple's 439th retail store in California. While we obviously can't be there in person, the AtAT staff hopes to gatecrash via a remote video link during at least part of the opening. If you're planning to attend and you can find a free Mac with an iSight hooked up while you're there, consider sneaking us in; we expect to be available for video chats as atat@mac.com, although we should warn you that the public beta of iChat AV is most definitely a bit wonky on our end. Hope to see you there! And Hal, if you're out there, drop us a line-- if you're still awake, that is...