Allow us to illustrate how ideally the spread of news works these days. We spot a little note over at Bloomberg.com. It mentions that Apple might leverage the success its had with the iTunes Music Store and tweak the technology slightly to "sell movies online." It gives, as a source, somebody or something called "Berliner Zeitung." Now, Berliner Zeitung could a German newspaper, or possibly the guy at the deli who slices the knockwurst. Doesn't matter. Because, you see, Berliner Zeitung reportedly cites Pascal Cagni, who just happens to be Apple Europe's top dog. So we've got Bloomberg citing Berliner Zeitung citing Pascal Cagni, and saying Apple "may sell movies online." That's the setup. Got it? Okay, now, all that opens the door for us to do this:

APPLE'S GOING TO SELL MOVIES ONLINE!! APPLE'S GOING TO SELL MOVIES ONLINE!! HOLY FREAKIN' CATS, APPLE'S GOING TO SELL MOVIES! ONLINE!! FOR, LIKE, THIRTY CENTS PER FEATURE! FORTY, IF JENNIFER LOPEZ IS IN IT, BUT STILL-- APPLE'S GOING TO SELL MOVIES ONLINE!!!

Cool, huh? Except, of course, we've got "responsible" journalists wrecking our fun by trying to discredit Bloomberg's report. Macworld UK calls Bloomberg's blurb "sexed-up" (must have been that line about Cagni's "heaving bosom" and "breathless sighs of yearning desire"), noting that while Cagni did speak to German magazine Berliner Zeitung (ah, so it's a magazine, is it?), his comments were far less provocative than Bloomberg may have implied. Here's how it went. Berliner Zeitung asked Cagni, "do you believe that Apple will one day offer movies in the same way that it offers music downloads via its iTunes Music Store?" Cagni replied that Apple can't comment on future products or services, but admitted that "it is, however, surely a good idea."

That's it. Nothing more on the subject.

Now, that's not to say that Bloomberg did anything necessarily wrong, here; after all, Apple may in fact one day sell movies online. But one Apple rep saying that it's a "good idea" doesn't really push the probabilities much one way or the other, so unless Bloomberg also starts offering headlines like "Apple may breed carnivorous mutant hamsters and unleash them upon an unsuspecting world," well, yeah, maybe Bloomberg was a teensy bit more provocative than the original source material warranted.

By the way, we weren't kidding about that hamster thing. Buy lots of cedar chips. You're going to need them.