No fair! Between the Blaster worm turning the world's Wintel networks into soup and that "nine-second event" that plunged most of the Northeast into darkness and chaos, this has been a great week to engage in that delightful calorie-burning activity known as "blind panic." But we only use Macs around here, of course, so Blaster wasn't even a blip on our radar, and even though there were reports of power outages in the Boston area, the AtAT compound kept on chewing up the kilowatt-hours like an endless supply of free mini-muffins. Even our server in New Jersey was apparently unaffected. So it seems like everyone got to go hysterical but us. We demand a recount!

Well, folks, since we're in dire need of the stress release that only a solid dose of visceral terror can bring and we're not in the mood to go pull down any power lines, here's what we're gonna do: we're going to harp on the latest security flaw found in Mac OS X. That's right, just because we Mac users didn't get to participate in the Blaster hysteria (well, other than by pointing and giggling), that doesn't mean we can't freak out about our own security holes every once in a while. A Secunia advisory describes a "highly critical" vulnerability in Mac OS X which "can be exploited by malicious people to compromise a vulnerable system."

AAAAIIIIIIIIEIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

"The vulnerability is caused due to an off-by-one error in the 'fb_realpath()' function. This may be exploited via an application using the vulnerable function by specifying a path where the resolved path length is exactly 1024 characters long."

No! No! We don't really understand what any of that means, but sweet lord in heaven, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

"The vulnerability has specifically been reported to affect the FTPServer and Libc projects."

Gasp! No, not FTPServer and Libc! Anything but FTPServer and Libc! Take us instead, lord, but please, please spare FTPServer and Libc! They're good projects, what never done no harm to nobody!

"Successful exploitation may grant a malicious person 'root' privileges."

Oh, merciful heaven, not "root" privileges! Please, let it be anything but "root" priv-- actually, you know what? We feel better now. Never mind. Just make sure you install Security Update 2003-08-14 before the bad guys gain access to your system, okay? Heck, chances are you already saw it pop up in Software Update long before you even heard about the bug itself. And don't let this one slide! Root access to your Mac isn't that much better than the big stinkin' mess that Microsoft let in the door with its "Homeland Security Buyer's Remorse Bug" that made Blaster possible in the first place.

Wow, that was invigorating! We're going to wait until sundown and then turn off all the lights and pretend a transformer blew. This is the most fun we've had in minutes!